Grief spreads across my skin like a rash. It’s been over a year, but I doubt my heart will ever stop feeling like it’s snapping in two whenever I think about her.
“She’s dead.”
Regret casts a shadow over Cody’s face for a moment of awkward silence before, “I’m sorry, I didn’t know.”
“Don’t be sorry. It’s better this way. I’m sure she’s happier wherever she is than she was here.” I try to keep my voice steady, but my eyes prick with tears.
Swallowing hard and diverting the conversation, I help Cody shimmy into a suit jacket. “Nowthislooks good,” I praise with a forced smile.
“That it does. I think I’ve got everything I need. We’ll grab a quick coffee, before I return the favor.”
A quick coffee? Here? At the mall where anyone could see us sitting together? The idea of him willingly getting seen with me has the cogs in my head pinwheeling.
What the hell is he playing at?
“Like I said, I don’t need help,” I mutter, bailing on spending more time with him even though it almost kills me. “Thank you for offering.”
“Who’ll tell you if you look nice?”
“I’m not supposed to look nice. I’m supposed to look—” I stop myself in time, worrying my bottom lip.
“What are you supposed to look like, Blair?” he asks softly, brushing a strand of hair behind my ear.
My heart races at his touch, and I fight the urge to lean in. “It doesn’t matter. I don’t want you to come with me, okay?”
His determined gaze hitches my defenses back up. I said too much already. I need to leave before I give him too many clues. Cody’s smart. Perceptive. I piqued his curiosity and he’s not the type to drop the subject.
He stands before me in his shirt, jacket, and boxers, and I know better than to let my eyes wander. I was very,verycareful not to glance at his cock this whole time.
Ignoring his inquisitive stare, I take the opportunity to flee.
He won’t chase me without pants.
***
Five hours later, after buying the dress and spending three hours at the psychiatric ward, I’m back home.
Cody’s car is parked in its usual spot, and knowing he’s home makes me clutch the shopping bag with my whoreish white dress tighter, like he’ll jump me, steal the bag, and check what I bought.
“Answer me!” I hear Ana scream as soon as I climb the last flight of stairs.
Cody’s outside his condo, feet bare, back leaning against the wall, with Ana on her tippy toes slamming her open hand against his chest, her face bright red, hair in disarray.
“Is there someone else?! Are you cheating on me?!”
“I can’t cheat on you,” he huffs, squeezing the bridge of his nose. “We’re not together. We werenevertogether.”
I’m frozen in my spot, unsure whether to go back down or hide in my condo.
“Don’t say that. You don’t mean it!”
Condo, I decide, taking a step forward. I halt again when Cody’s eyes snap to mine.
“Shit,” he breathes, his expression morphing to annoyance.
A cold shiver seizes my body, and I turn on my heel. He’s obviously not happy I can hear their conversation. Maybe they need a few minutes of privacy, and even though I have every right to go into my own home, I’m retreating, so they can talk this out.
“Fuck... Baby, wait!” Cody calls after me, his tone loaded with something I don’t understand. It sounds almost like he’s afraid. A bit desperate. “Don’t leave. I can explain.”
