“It was only fair,” Dad says, gripping my shoulder. “He gave me a lap dance when I married your mother. Damn near broke my legs.”
My other “uncle” Craig prances forward holding two balloons in front of his chest and proceeds to slap Owen’s face with them.
“Motorboat!” Knox yells from beside me, and I double over with laughter. “Show those titties whatcha got!”
“Why didn’t I get the balloons?” I ask, looking up at my cousin.
“Oh, you know why.” Knox waggles his eyebrows at me, and I’m pissed all at once.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I’m ready to grab him by the collar when Dad catches my shoulder.
“Easy, there.”
“What? It means Aunt Dylan would’ve kicked our asses.” Knox acts all offended. “Always trying to fight me.”
“That better be why,” I say, thinking it’s possible I’ve had a little too much to drink.
The song finally ends, and poor Owen is released from his restraints. To his credit, he was shaking his head and laughing the entire time.
His best man and best friend Ryan walks out to grab his hand and help him out of the chair. “Bruh, we didn’t even think of doing that the first time.”
My phone buzzes with a text, and I relax into a smile when I look down and see her name.
Dove
Current karaoke situation…
She sends me a picture of Gina with her eyes closed and her mouth open in a strange diagonal like she’s singing. She’s wearing a bright pink sash that readsSame Dick Foreverin silver glitter along with a headband that has two inflatable, light-up penises…penii?on each side.
Maverick
Show me yours.
Dove
We didn’t have time to order me a sash, but I have this.
She sends me a selfie of her wearing the same penis headband and holding a cup that saysBride or Die!
Dove
It was the best we could do on short notice. Now send me that video! We’re all dying to see it!!!
I chuckle as I comply, attaching the videos of poor Owen and me getting the treatment. She replies with a string of laughing-crying emojis.
Maverick
The Bradfords are nothing if not torturers.
Dove
I’m so happy to officially be part of the family!
Maverick
Not as happy as I am. Love you.
Dove
