It’s a lot to follow. She threw a bunch of numbers at me, twos, sevens and fours, eliminations, bowls…
I had to let a lot of it go, as I’ve been focused on my own work—analysis of the literature and clinical studies leading up to today, my final presentation. In addition to the slides and speech, I had to turn in a written analysis that took weeks to write and edit.
All that to say, Mav and I have been two ships passing inthe night over much of the last month. We’ve kept up our texting like always, but the tone has changed.
We both know I can’t stay, and we both know he can’t go.
So I’m at the end of my time here, and while I’ve found a lot of answers, I feel like I’m going home with no solutions. It feels like the world is holding its breath, waiting.
Maverick
I’ve got a break this weekend—save a night for dinner?
Sitting on the bench waiting, I slide my thumb over the tiny circle holding his face on my phone. It’s a picture I took of him at the wedding. He’s smiling, his dark hair pulled back, square jaw popping, hazel eyes so full of emotion.
I swoon a little whenever I see it.
Dove
Of course! Tell me when.
I don’t say my only plans this weekend are packing. Mostly because it’s sad enough that I’m going home. I’m going to miss all of this, being here with my friends, Kelani… him.
Also because it’s not going to take long to pack up my belongings. I haven’t been here long enough to accumulate much. I have his jersey. I have an air horn. I have a picture of us dancing under a peach tree Maddie drew for me.
Maverick
Full disclosure, Haddy set up the interview with Susan on Saturday. If Sunday works, I’ll have more time.
My lips twist, but I’m not angry about his interview. Even if this journalist knows way too much about him. And likesto stand way too close to him. And clearly has way more on her mind than an interview.
Dove
Sunday is saved for you. I’ll be here all weekend.
Maverick
The rest of the gang is joining us, but I won’t be late on Saturday. Don’t worry.
Dove
I won’t.
It’s no use to try and call it quits. I thought we could do it when we came back here, but all we’ve done is steal kisses, which leads to stolen touches, which leads to fucking against the kitchen table, against the washing machine, against the bathroom sink…
I slide my thumb over his picture again. My time here might be over, but my heart can’t stop.
I’m walkingdown the stairs and almost miss the bottom step when Haddy dashes out of the kitchen.
“You’re back!” she cries, running up to meet me. “We’ve been waiting.”
Gina is right behind her with Kelani hop-running after her. “Did you pass? Tell us!”
My hand is on my chest, and I start to laugh. “You almost made me fall!”
“Tell us what happened!” Gina grabs my hand, giving it a shake.
While I’m sad to be leaving, I do feel the weight of the semester lifted. I think about the smiles on the facesof Dr. Smithfield, my committee, and I’m proud of my accomplishments.
