My chest twists. “Were you?”
“No.” Her voice is quiet, and she turns, placing her hand on my stomach. “But we can tell Leon it was me.”
Silence falls over us, and we stare up at the ceiling. The fan above turns slowly, a soft hiss creating a gentle breeze. Her head is on my shoulder, her body against my side, and I put my hand over hers. My arm is around her, and I’m completely miserable.
I don’t want to tell Leon anything. I don’t want to end it.
Eventually, she falls asleep in my arms, but I’m not sleeping. I watch the fan turn slowly. I listen to her soft sighs. Occasionally, her face nuzzles against my chest, and she exhales a sad noise. Is it the sound of her heartbreak? It’s the sound of mine.
My arm tightens around her, and I wonder where I end and where she begins. She’s right. Our situation is impossible, and I don’t know what to do about it.
I’ll respect her wishes, but the truth is, I’m irrevocably changed. This weekend wasn’t hormones. It was real, and I can’t go back to being friends.
I love her. She’s the one thing I can’t live without.
Holding her in my arms, she’s my future, my heaven. I’ll release her if that’s what she needs me to do, but I’ll never let her go.
25
DOVE
“Itook pictures of what my uncle has done, so you can see…” I share the photos with Dr. Smithfield’s device, sorrow pulsing in my chest. “They’re working so hard, but it’s not enough.”
My heart has been so heavy since we returned from the wedding. It was so beautiful and perfect, like it used to be, for a brief moment in time.
The orchard was on full display, in the height of its beauty, flowers on the trees, so full of promise. I could close my eyes and pretend like nothing was wrong…
Being with Mav was the icing on the cake. All of it was a beautiful dream. We were in heaven, walking in the clouds.
But it wasn’t just a dream. I was complete, and so happy, so fulfilled.
I’ve never had sex like that. I probably never will… buthow?
Our lives are a thousand miles apart, and I can’t wastetime crying over dreams. I have an ugly reality to face. We’re losing this fight.
“Time is the fire in which we burn.” Dr. Smithfield quotes, smiling at me, but I’m too miserable.
“Money is the fire in which we burn,” I retort.
My professor understands my mood and thankfully softens his tone. “Have they requested government assistance? There are grants available…”
“My uncle Leon has maxed out all of them.” I shake my head. “He’s borrowed money from the bank. He’s even taken loans from my dad, until my uncle Sawyer put a stop to it.”
“Why…”
“He doesn’t want my dad spending all their retirement on what he considers a lost cause.”
Dr. Smithfield nods gravely. “It’s a sad truth many farmers ultimately accept.”
My jaw clenches, and I want to scream,I don’t accept it!
Instead, I scrub my fingers over my forehead, exhaling a bitter laugh. “We actually have a buyer just waiting in the wings.”
“Is it a friend? Or an opportunistic exploiter.”
I’m not sure how to answer that.
“The owner of a neighboring farm wants the land. They’ll recoup their money from this year’s peach harvest, then cut all the trees down, replace the soil, and plant soybeans.”
