For a second, I wonder if I’m imagining him again. But then he clears his throat.
Real.
Veryreal.
My heart doesn’t race. Instead, it settles. A sense of peace I haven’t felt in weeks washes through me.
I don’t move. I just look at him.
He looks right back.
And this time, I don’t look away.
Holt
For a few very long minutes, she looks at me like she’s not sure I’m real. But I see the second she realizes I am, in fact, very real. And I’m standing there in front of her.
It’s a softening as the tension leaves her body like an exhale.
I step closer, stopping at the edge of the table. “I’ve been looking for you.”
Her eyes narrow slightly. “You left the mountain.”
“Couldn’t look for you if I didn’t.”
I try for a joke, but she doesn’t smile. Instead, she tilts her head, examining me more closely. “But you hate leaving the mountain.”
“I hate the idea of losing you more.” The words feel steadier than I expected. I spent the last thirteen hours in the truck, driving through mountains, forests, and even taking a goddamn ferry to the island to get to her, and the entire time I couldn’t stop thinking about the possibility that I was too late. That I’d already lost her.
The idea killed me.
She sits back in her chair and blows out a breath. “Losing me?”
I nod once. “I thought I was doing theright thing,” I say. “By telling you to leave. I thought I was giving you space to figure things out. And I don’t regret that part, not really.”
She studies me more closely. “You don’t?”
I shake my head. “I’ll never stand in the way of what you want, Tessa. I promise you that. And I’d convinced myself that what you wanted was to travel and move on.” She nods a little. “But what I do regret is not telling you exactly how I felt before you left.”
Her gaze doesn’t waver.
“And how’s that?”
I don’t hesitate. “I love you, Tessa.”
Her breath catches, just barely. If I didn’t know her the way I do, I might have missed it.
“You love me?”
“I do.” I don’t look away. “I tried not to.” I run a hand through my hair. “Lord knows I tried. I told myself it wasn’t fair to you to be loved by an old grump like me. That you deserved more than the mountain. More than me. But that was me deciding for you.”
“You were pretty clear that I should go.” She swallows. “You all but pushed me out the door.”
“I was wrong.”
The words come easier now.
“I don’t get to decide what’s best for you or what kind of life makes you happy. That’s for you to figure out. If it’s the ocean or some city full of people, I’ll find a way to deal with it. I’ll support it,” I say. “I’ll supportyou.” I let that settle. “But I’m not going to pretend anymore that I don’t love you and that letting you walk away from me again will kill me. Because it will, Tessa. Not having you will be the end of me.”
