That’s one way to put it, I think, but don’t say.
“I just don’t think Luke needs to know everything.”
“He’d lose his mind.”
Holt nods in agreement. For a moment, we both picture it. It would destroy Dad. And his friendship with Holt. And for what?
This thing between us, it’s not?—
I blow out a breath.
It’s not anything.
At least not anything either of us is brave enough to name.
Holt steps close enough that I can feel the heat of him at my back. His hands settle on my hips automatically, just the way they always do now. Like they belong there.
LikeIbelong herewith him.
“It doesn’t change what this is,” he says quietly.
I swallow, almost afraid to ask.Almost.“And what’s that?”
His grip tightens a little on my hips, but just for a moment. “It’s good,” he says simply. “It’s been good.”
Been.
The word shouldn’t sting, but it does.
I turn so I’m facing him and give him a small smile. “Yeah,” I say. “It has.”
He stares into my eyes, holding my gaze. “Luke doesn’t need to know,” he repeats as if it’s the most important part of all this.
Not the connection between the two of us.
Not the way I feel safe and protected with him.
Not that he enjoyed having me here.
Not that maybe he couldchooseme.
Just that it would complicate things.
That’s the part that’s important to him.
I nod because it’s the only thing I trust myself to do.
He kisses me slowly, and I have to blink back the sting of tears before I kiss him back.
Because for now, maybe forever, no matter how badly I might have wanted more, this is what we have.
Chapter Thirteen
Holt
Iwake slowly, just the way I have every morning with Tessa in my arms. The warm weight of her pressing up against me.
The jolt of adrenaline I’m used to startling awake with every morning is gone. There’s no pressing need to scan the room for threats or reach for a weapon.
