Me:A what?
Gavin:My grandmother, she just texted me about you. You must have just left her room. She felt the need to remind me of how well she’s being taken care of there and how much she’s going to miss you.
Me:Awww. She’s the sweetest.
Gavin:Do you think she’s trying to send me a message?
Me:She couldn’t be. She knows nothing.
Gavin:My grandmother? That woman knows fucking everything.
Me:You’re saying she saw you eye fucking me when we were last in her room together?
Gavin:And drooling. Probably.
Me:Is that a problem? Do I need to worry?
Gavin:A feisty eighty-four-year-old is now going to do everything in her power to make sure we’re together. Do you see that as a problem?
Me:Go, Bettie, go!
Gavin:You know, as my brother’s girl, I adore Maya. But when it comes to you, she’s a real cockblock. I can’t send anything to your work, she’ll see it, I’m sure. I can’t send anything to your apartment, she lives with you. I don’t like it ...
Me:She’s barely home, she’s always at Jordan’s. My gut tells me they’re going to be moving in together soon.
Me:You also don’t have to send me anything.
Gavin:I want to.
Me:Do you know what the best gift was?
Gavin:Tell me.
Me:When you called me last night to say good night.
Gavin:I need to see you. Even if it’s only for 10 minutes. Are you working for Dr. Kaplan tonight?
Me:Yep.
Me:And don’t even think about putting a Lego up Ben’s nose.
Gavin:I would never ... but I wouldn’t put it past me to say he’s spiking a high fever.
Me:Lol. I’m at the rehab center until 4. Does that help?
Gavin:What time can you escape to the coffee shop?
Me:12? 1? I’m sure your day is wild, what time can you get away?
Gavin:I’ll see you there at 1:00.
Me:Oh ... and don’t try to kiss me. I’ve decided I’m no longer doing that in public places after you ravaged me the last time we were there, having me so worked up, I was panting when I returned to work.
Gavin:You’re not letting me kiss you? Are you trying to fucking torture me?
Me:Nothing makes me happier.
Gavin:I know ... my fucking balls are still blue.
