“A biography.I know him better than most.I’m in a perfect position to do it.”
“But you’re personally involved.”
“Not anymore.”
“So you say.”Pam paused.“I don’t know, Hillary.”Her words were slow, hesitant.“I’m not sure it’s such a good idea.”
Hillary studied Pam’s face and knew from its skeptical expression the direction of her thoughts.Writing a bookon John meant writing a book on the St.George Company.It also meant, to some extent, writing a book on Pam, on Pam’s mother, Patricia, and on Cutter.
“I wish you wouldn’t,” Pam said quietly.
“I have to.It’s the only thing that can come out of this whole, horrendous experience.I have to in order to justify who I am.”
Pam thought about that.She looked uneasy.“John will be furious.”
“I know.But I have nothing to lose.”
“I do.I have a husband, a daughter, and a reputation.My mother doesn’t need the exposure.Neither does Cutter.”
“None of you will be hurt.None of you did anything wrong.”
“Still …” Pam began, only to be interrupted when a man appeared at their table.Looking up in surprise, she broke into a smile, at the same time extending a hand to be clasped and a cheek to be kissed.
“I saw you walk in and couldn’t resist saying hello,” the man said.“Damn but you look wonderful, Pamela.How have you been?”
“Just fine, Malcolm.It’s so good to see you.Please, let me introduce my friend Hillary Cox.Hillary, Malcolm McCray.I’ve sold some of my favorite pieces to Malcolm’s wife,” she told Hillary, then turned back to Malcolm.“How is Lorraine?”
“Having a great time in Vermont, now that the crowds of skiers have left.I’m heading up there myself on Friday.It’s the only place I can get any rest.”
Hillary could understand it.She knew the man’s name,if not his face.A transplant from San Francisco, Malcolm McCray owned several of the newest and most posh hotels in New York.He and his wife were also involved with the charity ball scene, ifWwas to be believed.Hillary wasn’t surprised that Pam knew them; her circle had grown larger and more illustrious in the past few years.Rising stars had a way of generating tails like that.
“Will you give her my best?”Pam asked.
“Of course.”Malcolm lowered his voice.“How about Brendan?Is he doing any better?”
Pam smiled sadly.“He has his ups and downs.”
“Next time he’s up, come see us.The country is a healing place.”
The sad smile remained.“Thanks.We appreciate the thought.”
With a final squeeze of her hand and a nod to Hillary, he left.Pam opened her menu, but Hillary could see that her thoughts were in Boston.
“How is he?”
“Brendan?”Closing the menu again, Pam wavered one hand.“The treatment can be worse than the disease.It’s hard not to get discouraged.”
“Are the doctors discouraged?”
“Who knows.We don’t always get straight answers from them.”
“Do you ask straight questions?”
“Of course not.Some things we don’t want to hear.”
“But you do keep smiling.”
“I have to.For Brendan’s sake, if nothing else.And it’s not so bad.I’m busy with work.It’s one escape.Ariana is another.”Her face brightened at the mention of herdaughter.“She is an angel.I honestly don’t know what I’d do without her.She stands for so much—hope and love—all kinds of other things.She was—is—a gift.”
