Turning down Joy Street, they walked on.When a chillwind whipped up from the Common, they leaned closer together.
“I’ll miss you if you move to New York.”
“I’m not moving yet.”
“But you will, and what will I do then?Who’ll stick up for me when John does his rat thing?”
“You’ll stick up for yourself.You already do, Pam.I admire you for that.”
“He wouldn’t let me up those stairs today, and there wasn’t anything I could do about it.”
“Just wait.Before long, you’ll be bigger and more grown-up.He won’t be able to block stairways then.He’s just taking advantage of your age.You’ll see.Just wait.”
It was going to be a long, painful wait, though.Pam knew that the instant Hillary dropped her at home and she ran inside to find a note for her from Patricia.She and John had already left.
“Darling, John is right,” the note read.“You really shouldn’t go skiing for the first time on such short notice.If you want to go that badly, John says he’ll take you himself another time.I’ve called the Claflins and explained.They understand.Laurie says she’ll call you when she gets home Sunday night.Don’t worry about the things you bought.I’ll have Marcy run down and return them next week.I hope you had fun with Hillary.Don’t wait up.I’ll be late.See you tomorrow.”
Pam crushed the paper in her hand.“No.No!No!”She yelled it a few more times before storming through the house.Hettie had long since left, and Raymond, the butler, was nowhere in sight, which was just as well.She didn’t want either of them.She wanted Marcy.
Following the smell of starch, she found her in the basement laundry room ironing shirts.“Do you know what he’s done?”she cried without preamble.“He canceled my trip!He convinced Mom that I shouldn’t go!Why did he do that, Marcy?What harm was it to him if I went?I don’t tell him what to do with his life.Why does he have to tell me?He won’t ever take me skiing.I don’t care what he told Mom, or what she said in the letter.He won’t ever take me skiing.He’s never taken me anywhere, and anyway, I wouldn’t want to go with him.”She stood for several seconds with her feet braced wide, breathing hard as she struggled to find a reason for the change in her plans.“Know why he didn’t want me to go today?Because he said no.That’s all.He said no when I first mentioned it, and he wants his word to be law.There was no one here to argue when Hillary and I went shopping.He’s a snake, Marcy!It isn’t fair!”
Marcy moved the iron slowly over the white collar that lay flat on the padded board.“Life isn’t, sometimes,” she said at last.
“Well, it should be,” Pam argued and turned back toward the stairs.“I’m calling my father.If he says I can go, I’m going.”
“Pammy?”
Pam paused with her hand on the wood rail.“What?”
Marcy just looked at her in a sad, sage way.
Dropping her hand from the rail, Pam slowly came down again.“I should.It would serve John right.”
“It would rile him.”
“That’shisproblem.”
“No, it’s yours.If he gets angry, your mama will, too.Even if you go skiing, you got to be back here with them come Monday morning.You’ll pay for the fun then.”
But they both knew that was only one of the reasons Pam wouldn’t call Eugene.The other had to do with a twelve-year-old’s instincts about what would and would not help her parents’ foundering marriage.As always, thoughts of that set Pam’s stomach to churning, which in turn made her snappish.
“I don’t care.I want to go skiing.”
“Now you’re being stubborn.”
“So?If John can be, so can I!”
“But you’re better than him.”
“If that’s so, why is my mother with him much more than she’s with me?”
“B’cause he knows about the business.He’s your daddy’s assistant, kind of.”
“But I’m her daughter.I need her sometimes, too.”Her anger began to fade.In its place was worry.Slipping onto the stool by the ironing board, she said, “It’s awful, Marcy.Sometimes I say things to her, and she smiles and nods but she doesn’t hear me.I can be talking about school, and ten minutes later she’ll ask me how school is.”
“She loves you.”
“Maybe, but something’s happening.”She looked bleakly at the shirtsleeves Marcy was straightening.“Maybe they’ll get divorced.”
