“Please, Christian.This is urgent.”
Some of her desperation must have reached him.After a brief pause, then a short directive, Christian put her on hold.
The sudden silence was worse for the voices she’d heard before.They haunted her, making her feel shut out, and while she’d felt excluded from John’s life many times in the past, this time was harder.It was one thing to be excluded when everyone else was, another thing to be shut out when others so clearly were not.
“Hillary?”His voice came as low and composed asever.The background chatter was gone.She pictured him in the library, surrounded by walls of books he’d never read, his long lean fingers propped on the gleaming mahogany desk.He would have shut the door to ensure his privacy, a need that suddenly smacked of guilt.
“What’s going on, John?”
He seemed oblivious to the strained tone of her voice.“How are you?”
“John—”
“Did you see the show?”He spoke slowly, deliberately.
“Of course.That’s what—”
“What did you think?”
“I don’t know.That’s why—”
“It wasn’t bad.”His tone smoothly countered the under statement.“Those shows can be poison.As charming as the interviewer may seem in person, once the filming is done and the editing begins, the brightest man can sound moronic.”
Hillary was losing what little composure she had.“John, what was—”
“I came across well, I think.I’m pleased.”
“So are a lot of other people, from the way it sounded when Christian answered the phone.”She hurried the words out before he cut her off again.“What’s going on?”
He was silent for a moment.“A few friends dropped in to celebrate.”
“They must have had great timing.The show hasn’t been over for fifteen minutes.”Which could mean only one thing.“They watched it with you, didn’t they?”
“Several did.”
“Several.Three?Eight?Twenty?”She made no attempt to hide her hurt.“John, I’d have come too, if I’d known you were having a party.But I wasn’t invited.You didn’t want me there.You rarely do.And you won’t now.”She took a quick breath.“Is it true?Are you and Janet engaged?”
He hesitated.“I’ll call you back later, Hillary.”
“No.Now.Are you engaged?”He didn’t answer.“Are you marrying her?”Still there was no response.“Tell me, John.”
“We’ll discuss it later.”
“I have to know now.It was bad enough hearing it on television.How could you do that to me?”she cried.Once the pain started tearing from her, it wouldn’t stop.“How could you do it like that?After all the years, all the time we’ve been together, how could you let me find out along with millions of other people?Didn’t you think I’d be hurt?”
“Not now, Hillary.”
He sounded annoyed, but she didn’t care.“You don’t love her.I know you, John.You don’t love her.You love yourself and those damned stores.So why are you marrying her?You have the power you’ve always wanted.My God, after tonight you’ll have newspapers and magazines banging down your door for interviews.You’ve got money.You’ve got fame.So why do you want her?She isn’t gorgeous.My looks are better.And she can’t give you what you need.I’m the one who does that.All these years, it’s beenme."
His voice was tight.“Hillary, this isn’t the time or place—”
“And speaking of time and place, what was last weekend about?You were with me, John.For forty-eight hours you were with me, doing every intimate little thing we’ve been doing for years.If you were engaged to her, what in the hell were you doing with me?”She wrapped a trembling hand around her middle.“Tell me that, John.What was last weekend about?”
“Last weekend was about us,” he answered, clearly angry that he’d been pushed.“It’s what we’ve always been and done.”
“But you’re engaged to marry someone else!”
“So?”
