“Why now?”he went on in her silence.“It’s not like wecan spend any more time together.You have your career and I have mine.We’re both really busy.I’m hardly ever home.It won’t always be that way, but right now it is, and it’s no way to start a marriage.”
“I want,” she repeated, “to get married.”
He lowered his arm.“Tell me why, Pam.Why the rush?”She looked him in the eye and spoke through gritted teeth, easy enough to do with John’s face hovering in her mind.“Because I want control over my stock and my mother’s.I don’t want to wait another two years to turn twenty-five.I want that control now.”
Cutter came up on an elbow.“Has John done something else?”
“Not directly.Not new.”She took a breath and told him about John’s affair with Patricia.“Did you know?”
“How would I know?I was up in Maine.”
“Then there weren’t any rumors flying around?”
“None.”He hissed out an angry, “My God, the guy’s been in every bed around.”
“Not mine,” Pam snapped.
“But not for lack of wanting.You know that, don’t you?”
She knew it all too well, but her concern was with Patricia.“My mother’s nervous breakdown was John’s fault.He’s the reason she couldn’t think, couldn’t speak, couldn’t act.He’s the reason she hasn’t been able to face life.He has to be stopped, Cutter.If I can get control of my stock and my mother’s, between us we’ll have more than he has.I want that control.So I want to get married.”
But Cutter shook his head.“If marriage were the answer, we’d have done it years ago.You think I didn’t wantto?But nothing’s changed.Our marrying won’t stop John.You may get control of your own stock, but not Patricia’s.Do you honestly think John would give it up?”
“I’ll get a court order.”
“Based on what?You’re not a businesswoman, you’re an artist.”
“What does that have to do with anything?”
He sat up to face her.“John’s a businessman.We may hate his guts, but we have to give him that.He’s a good businessman.He’s built the company, and it’s sound.”
“It was sound under my father.”
“But smaller.John’s made something different and larger.He’s done well by his stockholders.Given your lack of experience and his wealth of it, no court will shift control of the stock.”
“But I’m her daughter.”
“And he’s her stepson.”
“But look what he’s done to her!”
“The court won’t see that—unless you bring it out.”
She brought up her chin.“If need be, I will.”
“You will not, because it’ll hurt you and it’ll hurt Patricia.I’m telling you, Pam, you haven’t got a chance of getting those shares.So rushing into marriage is crazy.”
“You wouldn’t say that if you loved me.”
He rolled his eyes.“I do love you.That’s not the issue.The issue is whether we let John dictate what we do and when.I want to marry you, Pam.I’ve wanted it for years, and you know it.But the timing isn’t right now.I’m on my way, but I’m not there yet.”
“But you have so much!”
“Everything is relative.I’ve earned a lot and investeda lot.Little by little I’m picking up St.George stock, but I don’t have anywhere near enough to be a threat to John, and until I do, I won’t have the power to prevent him from carrying out his threats.You can be damn sure that if we get married, he’ll lash out at anything and everything.I can’t take that risk.”
“Risk?Is marrying me such a risk?If you love me,reallylove me, you’d do it.”
He took her arms, and for a minute she thought he would shake her.He looked that fierce.But he simply held on tightly.“I do love you, really love you.Years ago I told you that you were the only woman I’d ever consider marrying, and that hasn’t changed, but I won’t marry you now.Not yet.”
