Tears came to her eyes.“I want Cutter.”
“He’s run off.Gave Simon a day’s notice and left.No one knows where he is.Maybe he knew you were in trouble.”
“He couldn’t have.”
“He has no sense of responsibility.”
“He just doesn’t know I’m pregnant, and I can’t find him.”
“What would he do if he knew?Race back here?”
“Yes.”
“That’s the last thing he’d do.He doesn’t have money, and he doesn’t have a job.”
“Maybe he does.Somewhere else.”
“Doing what?Flipping burgers?Working on an assembly line?Face it, Pam, he’s a loser.You have the rest of your life before you.You’re better off without him.He would only drag you down.”
“But I want him.”
John was silent for a minute.“You’re tired and confused.You’ve been through a lot.”He sighed.“Why didn’t you tell me about this?Did you plan to go through it all alone?”
She peered at him over her shoulder.He looked sympathetic.Then again, she wasn’t sure she trusted her eyesight.The sedative was probably clouding her vision.She was probably seeing what she wanted to see.“I couldn’t tell you.You’d have hit the roof.”
“Did I?”
She hesitated.“No.”
“I can be reasonable.”
“You aren’t usually, when it comes to me.”
“Because I insisted you get your grades up?But you’ve done it.Doesn’t that make you feel good?”
She stared at him.His voice was gentle.She recalled another time when it had been that way.He had nearly raped her then.But he couldn’t have rape on his mind now.Not in a doctor’s office.Not with her pregnant and sick.
He guided damp strands of hair away from her temple and said quietly, “Come on.Get up and get dressed.You need rest.”
“Is the baby all right?”
“You’re weak.Haven’t you been eating?”
“I’m nauseated most of the time.”
He went to the door.“We can do something about that.
I’ll be waiting out here.”
She watched the door close, then pushed herself up.The sedative slowed her, weighing down her limbs.Or perhaps it was due to fatigue.Or to confusion.John hadn’t reacted at all as she’d expected.She didn’t know what to think.He was being uncharacteristically nice.Remembering Palm Beach, she didn’t want to trust him.But she needed someone to lean on.The thought of going through pregnancy and delivery all by herself was more than a little daunting.She wanted Cutter, but, damn him, Cutter wasn’t there.If John was willing to accept the baby, she couldn’t turn her back on his help.After silently carrying her burden for nearly three months,, she was relieved to share it.
Back in the car, he was solicitous.Was she too warm?Too cold?Did she want to lower the back of her seat?Exhausted, she did that, then closed her eyes and dozed.When she came to, she was disoriented.
“Where are we?”
“Route Six.”
She raised her seat, but even looking out the window she couldn’t make sense of it.“This is the road to the Cape.”
