Her eyes find mine, widening slightly when she spots me and a slight smile forms on her lips. I move toward her without thinking. Joey probably says something smart behind me but I don’t hear him. She’s the only thing that matters.
I wrap my arms around her waist and pull her against me, sinking my lips to her neck. Her fingers curl into my shirt like she’s holding on tighter than she should. Like she already knows. I want to remember her like this. Soft. Calm. Happy to greet me. I want to remember her scent. Anything that will get me through.
She leans back so she can see my eyes and raises a brow. “You okay?”
I kiss her forehead. “Yeah, I just missed you.” I don’t tell her what is really bothering me. It won’t do either of us any good to stress about the inevitable.
She runs her hand through my hair before tugging on it lightly. “You look like shit.”
I bark out a laugh and scowl at her. “You really know how to make a guy feel good about himself.”
She rolls her eyes. “Yeah, well. I can tell you didn’t sleep last night.”
I grab her hand in mine as we walk down the hall. “You didn’t either if I remember correctly.”
She squeezes my hand. “Shut up.”
Everyone says we’re too young to know what love is. Maybe they’re right. Maybe we don’t. But I know one thing—whatever this is… it’s the only thing in my life that feels real.
And tonight I’m walking straight into something that might destroy it.
Chapter 2
Graduation night
Ryven
I’ve been pacing since they put us in this filthy room backstage of the graduation ceremony. The room is too loud. Too many people. Too much chatter. Too many fucking smiles. Why are people so damn happy? People are ready to make their choice. They want to be here, they want to gointo their new lives.
I know I should be ready. But I’m not ready to leave her behind.Not yet.What if some of us don’t make it out alive? What if after today, I never see her again?
I drag a hand down my face and keep pacing. If I stop moving, I might actually think about what I’m about to do.
“Ryven,” a loudspeaker in the room calls my name, and all eyes turn toward me.It’s time.I have to march across the stage and choose my destiny. One that will lead me back to her.
I walk from the room onto the brightly lit stage. The lights hit me first, blinding and hot and I have to stop myself from putting my hand over my eyes. The crowd comes into focus. So many people sit in the pews, watching, waiting, judging. No one thinks I have the balls to choose the cult. They believe I willchicken out. The commander on stage holds his hand out to me, and I move toward him. Then, he motions toward the crowd.
“Today is the first day of this man’s lifelong journey. Will he make the right choice?”
The crowd roars.
No pressure or anything.There is no chickening out now. I step up to the podium and look at the plaques of the different choices. The one for the cult is an ornate cup with devil horns on it and a black liquid inside. I have to drink it in order to pledge my allegiance to the dark one.Am I truly capable of giving myself entirely to someone besides her?
My hands hover over the cups. Each one represents a life. Each one different from the last.But I don’t want this.I don’t want to drink this liquid and then never see Rory again.
I glance over my shoulder at her already in her chosen faction. She gives me a subtle nod, and my heart clenches in my chest. She knows I have to make this choice and yet she still gives me the smallest nod. I want her to stop me. I want her to beg me in front of everyone not to drink this thick liquid. But she doesn’t and somehow that’s worse. Because it means she understands, and she’s letting me go.
I take a deep breath and snag the cup, bringing the dark liquid to my lips. It burns the second it touches my tongue then turns bitter. Wrong. Like my body knows this isn’t something I should be taking in.
I tilt my head back and swallow every last drop that I’m meant to and the crowd erupts into cheers, but I don’t hear them. All I hear is the ringing in my ears and the feeling of something inside me locking into place.
My destiny is no longer my own.
The last person walks across the stage and stands with their faction. I have about fifteen minutes before we are marched off to our sections, and I won’t see Rory again for a year. Fifteenminutes. That’s all they give us. To say goodbye to everything we’ve ever known. To everyone we’ve ever loved. Like that’s enough time to make it hurt less.
My heart lurches at the idea of not running my fingers through her hair. Or hearing her soft breaths on my chest as she sleeps soundly on me.
This year is going to be absolute hell without her in my arms, but I know we are strong enough to get through it.We have to be.
