Ah, so it was going to be discussed and maybe it should be instead of pretending as if it had never happened. Then she realized what he just had the audacity to say to her and Victoria sat forward.
“Me? You are the one who recoiled in horror when you saw my face and learned my name.” Victoria prayed that she kept her emotions in check because the last person she wanted to see her tears was Benedick Valentine.
“I certainly did not. You are the one who stepped back, grew pale then ran away from me.”
“Because the abhorrence at seeing my face was evident upon yours. One would have thought I was a monster with two heads.”
He practically slammed his glass on the table as he stood. “You are wrong!”
Victoria came to her feet. She was not going to fight sitting down while he was standing. “I saw you, Benedick.”
“Then you misinterpreted what you saw,” he argued. “However, it was very clear that you wanted nothing to do with me once you knew my name as I removed my mask.”
“That is not true. None of it.”
“You ran away,” he reminded her.
“Because you were horrified!” she yelled.
“Not by you…” He closed his eyes and blew out a breath as he pushed long fingers through his tousled hair. “It was at the realization of what I had done.”
Victoria frowned. “I do not understand.” Except, maybe she did. She had nearly lost her innocence to Benedick and was willing to give it to him. He had been the one who brought the passion to an end. “Were you suffering from regret of what we had done, or what we had not?” she asked.
To think that she experienced so much in his arms and from his lips and hands in one week…more than she ever dreamed was possible. It was all rather alarming how quickly she had succumbed to passion but maybe it was because they had spoken openly and honestly and the only secrets that they held were their names or anything else that gave away their identity, which was proof that there was so much more to a person than name, title or profession.
“Regrets,” he snorted then paced way.
When Benedick had first kissed her, Victoria knew that she wanted to go on kissing him forever and to feel his hands upon her body.
She lifted the brandy and took a quick drink, shut out the heated memories and willed her body to cool.
“I, son of a missionary, raised by another, a commoner who held a position with the Thames River Police, had the audacity not only to kiss a lady of your standing but…” His face started to turn red. “Things I should have not done to an innocent or a lady.” Benedick pushed his long fingers through his thick hair. “That and the response of your brother, if he ever learned, would be to hunt me down and demand pistols at dawn for having the daring to reach above myself. That was likely the horror you witnessed.”
“Your excuse is not believed, Benedick. Proof lies in your own family so such arguments do not stand.”
He gaped at her, then must have realized to what she referred. “Yes, my sisters married well. Very well, but a gentleman, no matter his rank, even a duke can marry who he wishes, even if she were a scullery maid. Yes, there would be judgment, and likely several disparaging remarks whispered behind fans, but nobody would dare attack him directly for fear of losing disfavor and soon, all would be forgotten. However, a lady would be committing the scandal of the Season if she were to wed so far beneath her, such as the sister of an earl to a son of a missionary with no standing, and in a position that made it impossible for him to support her in the way she deserves. It was not possible to pursue you for mar?—”
“—Stable hand,” she corrected. “I know where you truly come from, as you know.”
“Which is even worse than the son of a missionary,” he argued.
“You decided all that in a matter of moments after seeing my face.”
“Yes.”
“Well, while you were making decisions about your future, and mine, you should have asked me,” she yelled and left the parlor, slamming the door behind her.
Benedick had not rejected her, which was of little comfort because he had rebuffed what she was, which was just as bad, and Victoria wasn’t so certain she could forgive him.
Clearly, he had learned nothing after a week living behind masks.
Benedick tossed back the remains of his brandy then refilled the glass, but it would be his last one tonight because he needed to remain alert.
He also wasn’t certain if he was more relieved or if his pain deepened to know that she hadn’t rejected him, but his expression made her believe that he no longer wanted her.
When he had realized who she was, his mother’s past flashed in his mind of her being rejected by her own family because she had married so far beneath herself. He could not repeat that history no matter how much he loved and wanted Victoria.
If only they could go back to that moment, then he would make certain to school his features so as not to reveal any of his thoughts, then explain why he could no longer pursue her.
