“What if they do not hear your call for help or have fallen asleep?”
“I doubt anyone could sleep through this storm.” Even if she wasn’t suffering from a broken heart, and anxious from earlier in the day, the thunder and lightning would have likely kept her awake.
Benedick marched down the hall once he reached the landing, went directly to the room that Olivia had once used and tossed Victoria onto his bed.
It was a place she had hoped to be but knew that there would be no affection tonight, or ever again.
She looked up at Benedick, who stood with his hands fisted on his hips. The sight of him and his bare chest, and memories of when they had last shared a bed nearly stole her breath even though she knew she was a fool for still holding any desire or love for him.
“The passion we shared was rare.”
She looked directly into his silver eyes. “I would not know.”
“I suppose you would not,” he agreed as he sat on the side of the bed. “I wish I was not aware that…I wish everything that we had shared was a first for me as well.”
Now he was being rather melodramatic and if this was a way to make her feel better, it was not going to work.
“However, I do know that I have never wanted anyone as much as I wanted you, Victoria. I still do. There has been no other for me since that blasted house party. I have no desire to sully what we shared and would rather live the life of a monk than settle for a poor replacement in my bed.”
She sat up, uncertain if she could trust anything he said, but there was warmth and sincerity in his silver eyes.
“What of your heart?” she asked
“It too is already taken even if it will never be shared.”
“Why?”
“Because I cannot have you.”
“Why?” she asked as her heart pounded against his chest.
“I am not a wealthy man. I cannot support you. As much as I wish I could give you a home such as this, it is impossible for me.”
There was true sadness in his eyes as he stroked his thumb across the back of her hand. “I cannot offer you what you deserve. It has nothing to do with your family or mine, but the simple fact that I have no wealth, nor will I ever.”
“I am wealthy, Benedick. It does not matter that you are not.”
“It does to me. I should be the one to provide for you in a manner that you deserve, which I cannot do. If I could…” His eyes bore into hers. “I would risk scandal and gossip to have you by my side. But a poor man does not ask the woman of his heart to reduce her circumstances no matter how much they may love the other.”
She hadn’t mentioned love, and neither had he, until now.
Which also brought anger so strong that it burned in her breast but Victoria did everything she could to hide her reaction. “I understand,” she whispered.
“I am glad that you do.”
Benedick let go of her hand and stood. “I will see you in the morning.” He then walked toward the door and she waited until he was just about to open it.
“What I understand is that your pride is more important than I am.”
He stopped and dropped his head, chin to his chest.
He should be ashamed.
“Had you learned that I was as common as you when our masks were removed, would you have pursued me?”
He stood there in silence. The only noise filling the room was thunder and rain pelting the windows.
“Would you have?” she demanded. If his answer was no, then he did not care as much as he claimed and she was better off knowing.
