It must have been horrifying to witness, and they had only been girls.
“It was only when he was dying that Peter confessed that Mother had already been increasing with him when she met Father, who was young and naive and easily convinced that the child was his. They married quickly and Father brought her to England, which had been her intention all along so that she could infiltrate Society for information.”
“None of you were the Earl of Norbright’s children?” he asked in shock. If anyone ever learned, Norbright would be stripped of his title and any entailed lands.
“We were,” she answered. “It turns out that mother was faithful to father until after Olivia and I were born. Only then did she begin taking a series of lovers, but she let Father believe that she began doing so after Peter was born.”
“Why would she do such a thing?” It was beyond reason. Most wives who took lovers went out of their way to be discrete. He knew of none who claimed to have cuckolded their husbands when it had never occurred.
“She hated England and English lords and only saw him as a means to an end. Maybe she thought it would keep him from her bed, but it did not, obviously, or neither me, Olivia nor Gabe would have been born.”
“So, your entire life you believed yourself to be a bastard until you were…”
“Fifteen years of age,” she answered. “So, do you see why titles and wealth mean nothing to me? It is not what is important. When everything was taken away and we no longer had a home, Gabe stood by us and protected us. We were forced into humble circumstances, only for a short time, but it was enough for me to understand what was truly important and that was character. That is the true worth of a person. Nothing else matters. That was something we had both agreed upon,” she reminded him.
“You truly believe that?” Benedick asked, looking deep into her blue eyes, afraid that he might find proof that her words were false, but all he saw was genuine warmth that she believed what she voiced to be true.
“Character is the only thing that is true,” he murmured in agreement.
“Because Olivia and I had once been bastards, and left orphans…if we had not had Gabe, the two of us would have been destitute, but we were lucky. It was one of the reasons we wanted to establish Westbrook House—so orphans could find refuge.”
No wonder she still allowed Orlando to doctor the children at Westbrook House and gave his younger sister a position. She understood where they had come from better than most who also had such knowledge.
Five
Having said what she needed, Victoria finished her tea and retired to her chamber.
Yes, he had commented appropriately while she was telling him about her past. But after, there was only silence. She had told him so that he would understand and hoped that he would admit that he had been wrong and that he was sorry. But she should have known that it would not make a difference. She had even acknowledged that to herself but realized that a small bit of hope of reconciliation had been set aside.
Disheartened and disappointed, Victoria prepared for bed. After she’d pulled on the nightrail, she lifted the wrapper from the end of the bed and slipped her arms into the sleeves because she knew that it would be impossible to sleep. She then wandered to the window to look out at the storm, surprised by the violence of it.
Not only did lightning flash, as it had been all night followed by rumbles of thunder, but rain and hail pelted against the house and windows. Wind gusted, bending trees.
Victoria had experienced storms before, though they were rare, but never anything like this and it was almost frightening.
With a shudder, she backed away and began to pace her chamber while she recalled their earlier conversation.
At least she had answers as to why he’d been so horrified, and that it had not been her appearance, which was of some comfort.
Maybe he hadn’t cared at all. Maybe Benedick truly was just a rake who was having an enjoyable sennight, careful not to completely ruin her, and then planned on never seeing her again. He could have decided and planned that he would react the way he had at the unveiling so that he could separate himself from someone that he might encounter in the future.
Was that the truth or should she believed what he said that it was the horror of what her brother may do and how her rank made it impossible to…?
Victoria gasped and had to grasp the bedpost to steady herself. His words to her had been,
However, a lady would be committing the scandal of the Season if she were to wed so far beneath her, such as the sister of an earl to a son of a missionary with no standing, and in a position that made it impossible for him to support her in the way she deserves. It was now impossible to pursue you for mar?—
Had he started to say marriage? She had interrupted him before he had finished what he intended to say. He had also used wed.
They had not even discussed love and even though her heart had been involved, she did not want to say the words because she had not seen his face and did not know his name. It just seemed wrong to do so, and so soon after meeting. Victoria almost didn’t trust that her emotions had been real because the week had been magical and she was afraid that when it all came to an end and she was on her way home that she’d realize that it had been the circumstances and not the person.
Maybe it would have been different if she had ever loved before, but she hadn’t and it was such a new experience.
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. It had been real. At least to her, and she needed to know if it had been for him as well.
She could also be reading more into the words than he intended. He could have simply been using an example when he had no intention of a courtship.
Either way, Victoria needed to know the truth.
