I nodded as I pulled into the lanes that lead me to departures. My mind scrambled for something to say as I parked to let him out. Anything I thought to say was too angry, too pathetic and gave away my feelings. We stayed in the cabin for a few seconds in silence, which felt uncomfortable. It broke my heart because our silence had always felt good and safe.
“I…I?—”
“I hope you have a safe flight,” I said, before he could say something that could hurt me.
He turned towards me as I kept my eyes forward, but I wasn’t strong enough; I glanced at him, seeing indecision on his face.
“I just want to help,” I said softly. “You’re not telling me anything so I’m freaking out. You always tell me I can lean on you, but when I try and do the same for you, you always pull away.”
“Iris—”
My phone rang interrupting him. Nash’s name popped up on my screen.
Beau took a deep breath, “Better answer your husband.”
He opened the door; his words were like a splash of cold water. I got out of the truck, pissed off at his words and more pissed off that he thought he could walk away like this.
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” I snapped, standing behind him as he grabbed his bag from the back seat.
“Exactly what I meant,” he said, closing the door. “Your husband is calling, so answer him.”
“So now, he’s my husband?”
“He’s always been your husband, Iris.” He sighed. “It’s always been the husband, wife, and Beau. I’m just the fun side piece, and nothing else, Iris.”
“Where is this coming from?” His words cut into me.
“Is it not true?” he shrugged.
“Have we ever made you feel that way?” My lip trembled. “Have we ever made you feel like you were disposable, or that you were just a plaything? Fuck, Beau. Nash and I aren’t even together like that. We only came together when you…when you?—”
My voice broke as I realized maybe I had this entire situation wrong. Everything was temporary. Is that what he was saying?
“Look, I need to go to Denver and take care of something,” he said, running his hand through his hair.
I nodded, walking away from him, feeling defeated. The day had caught up to me and I was done. Every insecurity hit me all at once and I wondered about everything that concerned Nash and Beau. I was so stupid to get involved with them because this was only going to end one way, with me getting hurt.
“Iris!” he yelled.
“I’ll see you later, Beau,” I said, getting into the car.
“Iris,” he yelled as I closed the door, but he caught it before it slammed shut. “Iris—Sweets.”
“We can talk when you get a chance,” I said, swallowing my anger and sadness for a minute. “You’re going to miss your flight.”
I smiled hoping it was convincing enough, but it wasn’t when he took a deep agitated breath.
“Text me when you land,” I said, needing to leave immediately.
“No,” he said, closing the door and walking around the front of the car.
He opened the door, throwing his bag on the floor and getting in.
“Go to long-term parking,” he said. “We’ll drop off your truck and you’re coming with me.”
“Beau, we don’t?—”
“Look, I have no idea what I’m doing,” he sighed. “I’m scared and my first instinct is to push you away because then that means I won’t get hurt, but this argument seems stupid because both of us are hurting. I don’t want to hurt you, Iris.”
