“Look, I’m sorry,” I said. “I got upset for a dumb reason and the more we didn’t talk, the more the space between us just made me feel like I couldn’t say the right words.”
“I shouldn’t have pushed for you to move,” he sighed. “I knew better. Family is everything to you. You and Theo are two peas in a pod, and it was selfish of me to get mad. I regret everything about that phone call.”
The emotion in his voice made my heart ache and made me feel a little bit worse. If I were a better man, I would have toldhim that I had created the space because I loved him and I was tired of keeping this secret.
I was scared.
I was a horrible person.
“Jude, don’t do that,” he said, pulling me in for a hug.
“Do what?” I mumbled into his shoulder, leaning into the hug more than I should have, but god, I missed this so fuckingmuch.
“Blame yourself for all of this,” he said, squeezing me. “You always think it's your fault and take the blame for everything. I was the asshole, ok?”
I didn’t know what to say because it wasmyfault, but if I said anything then I would admit my feelings and I wasn’t ready for that.
“Ok, Jude?” he growled.
He pulled away, looking down at me.
“It’s not your responsibility to take care of everyone, Jude. I’m a big boy, I shouldn’t have pressured you and then thrown a fit. It was my fault, ok?” He cupped my face. His hazel eyes were lit with determination.
I nodded as my chest fluttered with the position we were in.
“Good, now let's go eat,” he said, glancing down at my lips.
He cleared his throat letting me go.
Wait! Did he look at my lips?
“Drive safely,” he said, clearing his throat again before getting into his car.
I nodded, wondering if I had imagined Sam looking at my lips as I got into my truck. This was ridiculous. Why the hell would he be looking at my lips, but after he looked at my lips, he had licked his own? Nope, this was me being delusional. Sam wasn’t interested in me; my brain was looking for anything to say he was interested. If my best friend was interested, he wouldhave said so a long time ago, that was just the kind of person Sam was.
“Come on, Jude, one shot,” Sam said, elbowing me.
“Are you supposed to be drinking?” I gave him my best pointed look, glancing down at his knee.
He shrugged. “It’s just a shot and a beer.”
“Yeah, Jude, it’s just a shot and a beer,” Forest said, as Sam rolled his eyes at him.
I chuckled, liking their playful dynamic.
“Fine, but can we do something not as harsh?” I asked as they both laughed at me.
“Jude, what the fuck do you think a shot is?” Sam grinned. “Nothing is going to lessen the sting, might as well get used to it.”
“Yeah, but can’t we get a fruity shot?” I grumbled. “Something that doesn’t feel like it’s burning my stomach lining.”
“Sure, but if we get a shot you have to take the shot how it’s supposed to be taken,” Forest said with a smirk.
I narrowed my eyes. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“Exactly what it means," he said, as Sam studied him with confusion.
“I guess as long as it’s not gross,” I said warily.
