“It’s fine, duty calls,” I said, cleaning the little bit of cream with my thumb and licking it off.
Jude grew red again and I had to stop myself from doing very bad things to him.
“Thanks,” he said, walking to the door. “I’ll see you later.”
It wasn’t a statement, but a question.
“Yeah, be careful out there,” I said as he left.
I took a deep breath and ate the rest of my cake, telling myself that sleeping with my boss's brother was a bad fucking idea.
4
jude
It was a Saturday night, and here I was doing my usual thing. Takeout and watching some crazy documentary or some movie that had finally come out, with my cat. No matter what I did, I couldn't run away from Sam. I watched the Yeti’s lose the semi-finals a few days ago, and I couldn’t stop thinking about him and the look he had when the camera panned over to him. He looked devastated that he wasn’t on the ice, but more than that, I could see the exhaustion on his face.
Something wasn’t right. I looked back at all of his text messages he’d sent, all of them unanswered.
Best Sam – Can we please talk about this? I didn’t mean to get upset. I just got excited about the possibility of you moving here. You being here with me was like a dream come true and it’s just been hard. I’m sorry. I was an asshole. I didn’t mean to snap.
Best Sam – Jude, I know you said you needed space, but please just call me. I’m sorry.
Best Sam – I know family means everything to you. I would never try to come between you and them. Can we please just talk?
Best Sam – Just hear me out. You don’t even have to say anything, just please listen. I’m sorry, Jude.
Best Sam – Answer me please.
Best Sam - I miss you. I’m sorry.
I clenched my jaw seeing his last text message.
Best Sam - Just tell me you’re ok. Please tell me you’re ok.
Sam wasn’t the asshole, I was. I sighed, running a hand through my hair not sure what to do. Responding now felt like it wasn’t enough. Do I just tell him I was in love with him and I needed this time to fall out of love with him, but god I just missed him. This fight was at the worst time. I knew he was hurting because of his knee, and I wanted to be there for him except something was holding me back.
I was emotionally exhausted. Loving Sam Webber was slowly killing our friendship and that was the last thing I wanted. Maybe this flirting with Forest would go somewhere, maybe he would finally help me get over Sam, and we could get our friendship back. I needed to put Sam in that box. Friend-zone him and let go of this stupid fantasy I had. Sam Webber was only my friend.
Me – I’m ok. I hope you are too.
I stared at my phone expecting a response right away, but nothing came through. The message didn’t even change to read.Sam always messaged back immediately. I scoffed at myself. Why would he message back immediately or why would he be near his phone? We hadn’t spoken in months.
Did I fuck this up beyond repair?
It was only eight at night and if I stayed here, I would only obsess over him not answering right away, even though he had every right not to answer. I got out of bed, quickly heading to my closet to change and head over to the Boozy Bandit. Maybe Forest would be there and if not, I could always see Iris and say I was supporting her even though she had been there for a while now. I just needed to get out of my home.
He still hadn’t texted back when I arrived at the Boozy Bandit. I looked at our text thread itching to say something more, but I slipped my phone in my pocket, got out of my truck and went inside the bar. It wasn’t too crowded, since it was still early, and it was just the way I liked it. I went to the bar, grabbed a beer and looked around at the few people who had already started two-stepping. I searched for Iris, who didn’t seem to be working.
It was weird being here alone. I was always with someone, whether it was with Sam or my brother, I never did stuff just for me. What the hell did people do when they came to bars by themselves? People watch? Pick up people to have sex with? I mean, I knew most of these people and if I took any of them home, half the town would know before I came.
That was off the table and hook-upsjust never appealed to me. Sleeping with someone right off the bat just wasn’t sexy, I wanted… tension, the push and pull, I wanted more than just a night. I took a deep breath, set my beer down on the bar and ordered another one. One more and I'd go home to sleep, hopefully.
“I’m surprised to see you here.”
I turned around to see Forest, just the man I was longing for. He looked good in dark jeans, boots and a tight, black shirt. Forest was tall, dark and a bad decision on a good day. I didn’t want a one-night stand, but I would break that rule just for him because Forest looked like he would rock my world, and then some.
“Yeah, I needed some fresh air,” I said. “Beer?”
