“Is that true?” he asks.
My mouth opens and closes.
“Say it, Rue.” He already knows; he’s already furious. “Now.”
“I—” My throat barricades itself closed. “Yes.”
The look on his face shreds my heart into a million pieces.
I wait for him to throw his beer across the restaurant. To yell. To flip the table. The fact he does nothing is worse. His silence might as well be a knife straight through my sternum, plunging in then ripping out, over and over and over.
Sunny and I exchange a look; even her loud mouth is shut. This is bad. This is really,reallybad.
Nash stands, quiet—painfully quiet—and drops his napkin on the table along with three one-hundred-dollar bills. He walks out of the restaurant without looking back or slowing down.
Jonathan gives me a look likeserves him right, grins like a dick, then takes another bite of his food.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” I demand.
“With me?” He scoffs. “I’m here for you.” He holds his knife in the air like a deranged knight. “You came here to prove a point—treasure hunting because I said it wouldn’t work—and forgot who you are. You’re being irrational.”
“Irrational?” I’m stunned and shaking at his excuse. This isn’t love, it’s a scolding. “Maybe this is exactly who I am.” I stand so fast my chair topples. “I’m—God!I came here to save the store—which you refused to see as an option—and I’m glad I did. Even if I don’t find the gold. This was never about you, itwas always about my mom and Bennie and the store. The fact you think I came here to—what? Spite you?” I almost laugh. “Is ridiculous.” I dig his ring out of my purse and toss it on the table. “You’re drunk, but wearedone, Jonathan. For good.”
He looks at it. “Because of this?”
“Because I love him. Because I’m married to him. Because I’m—” I look at my dad and Sunny, both of them slack-jawed. “Because you are a good man, but we don’t belong together.”
“Rue, wait—” He stands, teetering as he reaches for my hands. “I thought?—”
“It’s not just this.” I pull away from him. “It’s-it’s all of it. It’s—you don’t believe I can find this gold and Nash took off work for two weeks to help me. To make me laugh. To watch me get arrested in a cemetery even if he doesn’t know if we’ll ever find anything. He—” I take a deep breath and blow it out fast. “He lights me on fire, Jonathan, and if I walk away from him again, I’ll regret it for the rest of my life. You know it’s not like that for us.” Softer, I add, “And are you really upset that we’re ending, or just mad because I’m telling you no?”
The way he looks at me lets me know I’m right. He’s not here because he needs me, he’s here because his ego can’t take the loss.
“Louder for the people in the back, honey child,” Sunny says with a snap. “Nash knows what’s what, biker boy.”
“And what happens when you wake up and find out there is no treasure, and he takes off again?” Jonathan asks, the most sober he’s been all night.
If he hadn’t just acted like the world’s biggest jackass, I’d feel sorry for him.
There’s a good chance that what he’s saying might come to fruition, but for the first time in a long time, the risk feels worth it. If I don’t find the gold and Nash never wants to talk to meagain—as scary as both of those things feel—I’ll be okay. I have Reese and Remy—I won’t be alone. I’ll survive.
“Then I’ll be wrong and sad. But I still have to try.”
Jonathan looks at me like it’s the first time he’s ever seen me.
“Sorry.” I say it again because I am. I’ve hurt him—and everyone.
I look at my dad and he lifts his glass. “Atta girl, kiddo.”
Sunny snaps her fingers over her head. “Sell tickets to the show next time, honey child. We make you a rich bitch even without the gold.”
I laugh despite the Armageddon of a meal we just survived and turn toward the exit. I need to find Nash and have no idea where to start.
As if reading my thoughts, Sunny shouts, “He’ll be at the Sword Gate House.”
Thirty-Nine
Nash isn’t at the Sword Gate House, he’s sitting on the curb across from it. The bright edges and shadows of him between two crepe myrtle trees are line drawn by streetlight.
