Hollis
Can you translate that, Jay?
Jay
I can but won’t. Marv, I’m telling the government where you live.
Hollis
Yikes.
But also, what did he say?
Jay?
“Ithink that’s the mom—No, thegrandmafromParenthood,” I observe around a mouthful of popcorn from the passenger seat of Jay’s SUV. “That one.” Ipoint at the large face through the windshield. “Bruce Willis’s wife. Or ex-wife?”
Bruce Willis’s face appears on the drive-in movie screen as Marv’s silhouette cuts across it, arm swinging a metal detector over the ground in front of him.
“Never heard of it,” Jay says without looking at me from the driver’s seat.
“Never heard of it?” I scoff. “We’re watchingDie Hardfor Christmas—which is not a Christmas movie, by the way—and you’ve never heard ofParenthood?”
He looks at me, smirks, and says, “Nope.”
As if scripted, a Christmas tree appears and festive music plays through the speakers of the car.
He gives me a look like,told ya,and I shoot one back:go straight to hell.
Only three other cars—including Marv’s box truck—are parked in the grassy field of the drive-in theater I didn’t know existed.
Possibly because it’s in someone’s backyard and we had to pass a dozen hand-paintedenter and get shotsigns to get here. Mostly because the rest of the town is gathered in the park to watch a movie—a real Christmas movie. My kids included.
Without me.
“Everyone else is watchingIt’s a Wonderful Lifein the park—together—and you’re here. I don’t get it. Why not just go where everyone else is?”
He tosses a piece of popcorn in his mouth and glances from the screen to me. “I don’t like that movie.”
I gasp. “Youwhat?”
He shrugs. “George Bailey kind of sucks.”
Another gasp. “Hewhat?”
“Sucks.” He doesn’t look away from the screen. “He complains. Helps people then whines about it. Just a pain in theass, really. And he has that voice.” His nose scrunches in disgust. “Kind of nasally, you know?”
I open my mouth, close it.
Open my mouth, close it.
Open my mouth, give up.
Because, maybe, he’s not wrong.
We watch Bruce Willis work to save the day for a few minutes. A topless woman is dragged across the screen.
Christmas movie, my ass.
