For some reason, I didn't tell him to let me go. I needed that firm touch to feel grounded, to feel that everything happening was real and not some dream I'd wake up from.
"I know. And I apologize for that. I got caught up in the moment and didn't realize you needed me." One of his hands released my wrist to rest on my waist, pulling me slightlycloser, as if he wanted to make sure I wasn't going to fall apart right there in front of him.
"We were so close to failing," I said.
"But we didn't fail, and that's what matters. Everything turned out okay. You can relax now. You did it, Lily. You saved him."
But why didn't I feel relieved? Why did I still feel stressed that something might go wrong?
"Do you think so?"
"For now, yes. It's all over. Your brother is safe from Oliver's bullying for now.”
But something still didn't feel right.
"I think there's more to the story, something I don't understand yet. And that makes it impossible for me to be at peace."
"What are you talking about?" He asked me.
"I always thought Jeremy had a crush on my brother, and that it was Jeremy who forcibly kissed him at this party, and that's why my brother felt so devastated about Oliver's bullying."
My theory had always been that Jeremy was jealous of my brother's relationship with Brandy, got drunk that day, and came to complain that they weren't spending time together anymore. I always thought my brother let Jeremy do what he did because he felt guilty or because he was drunk, too. But the way Leo acted today didn't seem like that was the case at all.
"I understand you perfectly. Jeremy doesn't seem the least bit interested in Leo romantically. Since I've been getting close to him, I can tell."
"It's like I don't know my brother anymore, you know? I thought we were best friends, that we were close. But now, even with all the time I've spent trying to reconnect with him, I can't figure out what's happening in hismind. I can't understand what he's dealing with or why he won't trust me enough to share it."
"I know it must be frustrating," he responded gently. "But sometimes the people we love most are the hardest to understand, precisely because we're so close to them. We see what we expect to see, not always what's really there. Maybe Leo's been protecting you from something, or maybe he's been struggling with things he doesn't know how to share."
"What do you think is going on now? Why is my brother so mad at Jeremy? Why did Jeremy come here drunk?"
"I don't know, but you shouldn't focus on that right now. You're visibly stressed, and you need to breathe. You've had too many emotions today. Worry about yourself this time."
"I can't. There are too many people depending on me to help them." I raised my free hand to his cheek. He still had blood running from his nose and a bruise. "Look at your face. I need to heal you."
"Shh," he responded softly, pulling my waist even closer, until there was barely any space between us, until I could feel the warmth of his body radiating against mine. "Breathe, Lily. Breathe until you remember that you can do it. Don't think about anything right now. Focus on me. You can't help others if you're not well yourself. To be there for the people you love, you must first be strong enough to carry that weight. No one who's broken can truly heal others. You'll just end up passing your wounds to them instead of your strength."
I began to breathe, looking at his face, trying to calm myself. I focused on those blue eyes I'd fallen in love with when I was too young to understand what love really meant. On how beautiful he looked watching me in that moment. On the way, his wet hair had fallen across his forehead. On the strong line of his jaw that was starting to become visible. On the fullness of his lips that I absolutely should not be staring at right now.
Something in his gaze made the chaos in my mind begin to settle. The frantic beating of my heart slowed as I let myself get lost in the warmth of his eyes, in the steady rhythm of his breathing, and in the gentle pressure of his hands, anchoring me to this moment. For the first time, all this mess, I felt like I could think clearly again.
When my heart finally returned to its normal rhythm, I spoke quietly, "I'm feeling better now. You can let me go."
"But I'm so comfortable here," he whispered, his words barely audible. I could feel the warmth of his breath ghosting across my lips as he spoke. "Don't you feel comfortable too?"
If he weren't holding me so securely, I would have melted into a puddle right there on the bathroom floor. My knees felt weak, my breathing had picked up again (but for entirely different reasons this time), and I was hyperaware of every single point where our bodies were touching.
"Come on, don't play hard to get," I managed to respond, though my voice came out more halting than I intended, revealing exactly how affected I was by his proximity. "The doctor in me needs to clean that nose."
The woman in me needs something else entirely,I thought, but absolutely did not say out loud.
Kyle laughed softly, like he knew exactly my thoughts. He released me slowly, his hands trailing along my sides before he finally let go entirely and sat down on the toilet seat. "Go ahead, Lily, heal me."
I opened the medicine cabinet, retrieved the first-aid kit, and a clean towel. When I positioned myself in front of him, I realized that with him seated and me standing, we were almost at the same height.
He placed his hands on my legs, just below my hips, as if he didn't want me to escape, though that wasn't necessary. There was nowhere else I'd rather be at that moment. He had become my safe haven over these past few weeks, and rightnow, after all the chaos that had just unfolded, I felt completely at peace in his presence.
Well, perhaps "peace" wasn't quite the right word. Not when his hands were on my thighs. Not when I could see the way his eyes had darkened as he looked up at me. Not when every nerve ending in my body was screaming at me to lean down and close the distance between our mouths.
