"The point is," he said, his bright smile returning but not quite reaching his eyes, "if you want Lily to forgive you, really forgive you, you have to be willing to let her know how sorry you actually are. And that means being honest about who you are and what happened, not just showing her who you think she wants."
"I never saw it that way," I replied, thinking again about Lily. All this time since we met again, I've tried to impose my presence in her life, to make her want and need to be with me. Forcing her to see me again. But I haven't had the chance to truly show her that I can be useful to her. That I've changed. And that I can truly be someone she can trust.
And then there's the kiss I gave her... How I invaded her space and did something she didn't want just to prove my point. Right now, I feel like a complete idiot—no wonder shedoesn't want to be around me, even though I've already apologized.
"You need someone with emotional intelligence to guide you, and lucky for you, I am an absolute expert in matters of the heart." Jeremy said, taking me out of my thoughts.
I bit back a laugh. Jeremy was so dramatic, but I kinda liked him.
"So you'll help me?" I asked.
"Absolutely. Consider me your personal Cupid. We'll get started immediately." He linked his arm through mine and began steering me down the hallway. "First things first, we need to work on your approach. You can't just stare at her from a distance like some kind of vampire. That might work in young adult novels, but in real life, it's just creepy."
"You know," I said, interrupting his lecture on the importance of timing, "you seem to know a lot about this stuff."
Jeremy smirked. "Of course I do. I'm very in tune with people's emotions."
"What about you? Is there someone you aren’t honest with? I can be really useful too with my advice, and we can help each other with our relationship issues."
"Me? Please. I'm way too busy for romance right now. Besides, not everyone in this school is up to my standards."
He didn't take the bait as I expected.
But there was something in the way he started saying those words that told me otherwise. I decided not to push yet, because he felt like he wanted to convince himself, too, not only me. This was only the beginning. I'd gained his initial trust, and that was enough for now.
"Fair enough," I said, shrugging. "So what's next in your master plan for getting Lily to realize that I am truly sorry?"
Jeremy's smile returned, mischievous and excited. "Well, first we need to arrange some 'accidental' encounters. But more importantly, you need to figure out what you really wantto offer to her. Not just flowers and pretty words, but something real. Something she can't get from anyone else."
"And what would that be?"
"That's for you to figure out," he said, his expression grew serious again. "Love isn't about convincing someone to choose you. It's about becoming someone worth choosing. And that starts with being real about who you are, even the parts you're not proud of."
And that was it.
For the next few days, Jeremy became my self-appointed wingman. He'd give me tips on when to approach Lily, what to say, even how to stand to appear more confident. Most of his advice was ridiculous and childish, and I knew Lily would see right through it, but I played along because it was the way I was keeping Jeremy close. It was giving me a chance to build the rapport I needed.
At the hospital, I'd catch glimpses of Lily in the hallways or the break room, but I never approached, partly because I wasn't sure what to say after our day at the park, and partly because I didn't want to mess up whatever plan she was working on with Leo. We were both playing our parts, keeping our distance publicly while privately working toward the same goal.
But Jeremy's words stayed with me:Love isn't about convincing someone to choose you. It's about becoming someone worth choosing.
Maybe that was the real lesson here. Not just about saving Leo or preventing Oliver's death, but about learning to be the people we should have been the first time around.
CHAPTER 16
Lily
A week had passedsince Kyle and I had made our plan, and I was surprised to find myself actually enjoying this strange situation we were in. I thought being a teenager again would be more complicated, but I got used to it extremely fast. Over these few days, I feel parts of myself coming alive again. It was like I had forgotten what life really felt like, and now my mind was recovering and realizing everything I had been missing. I feel like I'm seeing for the first time after years in the dark.
For once, I feel like I'm in control of everything in my life because I know exactly what will happen next. I know what the best outcome is in almost any scenario, and what to avoid.
My schedule has been extremely simple, and I love it. Contrary to my life as an adult, where I'm busy practically every hour of my existence, here, I just have to take classes from 8 to 1 PM. On Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, I go to the hospital from 2:00 PM to 5:00 PM to volunteer, and then have free time to rest and simply enjoy life.
I focused more in class because now I knew what was important. I avoided people I knew wouldn't be in my life inthe future. And life was actually pretty easy. And how could it not be? I was a 28-year-old trapped in an 18-year-old girl whose only responsibility was to attend classes and learn about first aid in a hospital emergency.
Now, I was actually enjoying my youth and understood what my parents had told me at the time, that it was the best time in my life because I didn't have to worry about anything. How ironic it was that it took losing everything and traveling back in time to appreciate what I had the first time around.
Sometimes, we rush through life trying to grow up, without realizing that we should really enjoy the wonderful present. The first time I lived through these years, I was so focused on getting to the next stage, first on finishing high school, then getting into a good college, graduating, and building a career, that I never stopped to appreciate the simplicity of just being.
