I open my mouth. Close it.
Lila looks at me then.
Not amused. Not performing. Curious. Soft. Like she’s seeing something new and trying not to spook it.
That’s when I know I’ve lost whatever control I thought I had tonight.
Because I want to explain myself.
I want to tell her this isn’t supposed to be like this. That I didn’t plan on bringing her into my world and watching her fit so effortlessly.
Instead, I give a half-smile and say nothing.
The moment passes. Sort of.
Jax catches my eye across the table. His grin shifts. Less teasing. More knowing.
“You good, man?” he asks.
I glance at Lila. She’s mid-sentence, explaining why tour buses are emotional pressure cookers with wheels. Devon is rapt. Hunter is nodding like she’s confirming a hypothesis.
I look back at Jax.
“Yeah,” I say. “I’m good.”
He studies me for another second. Then lifts his glass. “Thought so.”
Dinner winds down after that. People stand. Stretch. Start settling tabs. The city hums below us, with lights and motion and people living their lives.
I didn’t bring her here to prove anything.
This was supposed to be normal. Loud. Easy. A meal with people who know me and wouldn’t look too closely.
Instead, I’m watching Lila Hart laugh like she belongs there.
And somewhere between the first story and the second drink, something in me tipped. Quiet. Final.
I’m in deeper than I meant to be.
And I don’t know when it happened—only that it already has.
Chapter seventeen
Lila
Iwake up with a tune in my head.
Not a normal tune, either. Not the kind that evaporates the second I open my eyes.
Soft. Warm. Insistent.
It threads through me as I shuffle to the bathroom, half-blind, wrapped in my own sheets like a sad ghost with a skincare routine. The melody follows anyway. It slips into the space between toothbrush strokes. It hums behind my eyes while I stare at my reflection.
I spit, rinse, blink at myself.
The tune does not blink back.
In the kitchen, I make tea on a whim. Kettle on. Mug out. Honey stirred. I even select a “calm” mug, like ceramic can gaslight my nervous system into believing everything is fine.
