“No.” Eric took a deep breath. “I’m not joking, though I used to wish I was. Not being able to go outside during the day kinda sucks. I mean, sometimes I can. If it’s raining. Or I use a lotof sunscreen. Wear UV shirts. That kind of thing. But I haven’t been outside on a warm and bright summer day for three years.”
His voice was filled with longing, eyes darting to the windows as if he were hoping he’d see the sun outside.
I couldn’t imagine being trapped inside while everyone else was out, living their lives. It had to be incredibly hard. And it definitely explained his vague excuses whenever I’d asked him to meet in the morning. Or the afternoon. It also explained why he’d never stayed the night.
My chest constricted, and I grabbed his hand, wanting him to feel my support.
“Next thing you’ll be trying to tell me you’re a vampire, huh?” I laughed, squeezing his hand.
I wanted to make light of the situation, but Eric just flinched, averting his eyes.
Aww, fuck.
Not the right moment for jokes.
“Sorry. That was probably insensitive.”
“It’s okay,” he mumbled, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed heavily.
It really wasn’t. Using sarcasm to cope with a medical problem wasn’t everyone’s cup of tea. And maybe I’d relied on it too heavily for the past couple of weeks.
I walked over to Eric’s bed and sat down, patting the silky-smooth comforter until he sat next to me and I could rest my head against his shoulder.
“That’s why you never spent the night at my place, right?”
I felt his curt nod, his posture rigid.
“I’m sorry I didn’t make you comfortable enough to tell me.”
Eric sighed.
“It’s not you, it’s me.”
I chuckled and earned the tiniest of snorts from him as he realized what he’d said.
“It really is, though. I come with a lot of… issues. And I have yet to figure out how to talk about them.”
I gripped his hand, squeezing reassuringly. “Whenever you’re ready, you can talk to me. I promise, I’m not gonna make fun of your medical conditions again, okay? And if you need me to do something to make you more comfortable, tell me.”
He swallowed audibly, holding my hand so tightly that his hand was almost crushing mine.
“Okay.”
“And if you tell me where to get those blackout curtains, I’ll happily get some for my apartment. Just in case. But we can also just meet up here. I’m happy to spend the night. And maybe I can put your kitchen to good use.”
Eric let out a laugh, but it still sounded a bit strained.
“You’re amazing, Finn. I don’t know if I’ve ever told you, but you’re absolutely amazing.”
I wasn’t as sure about that, but I’d take the compliment, because damn, it made me feel all warm and giddy inside. And I really needed not to feel all jittery and scared.
Fuck that stalker.
Fuck his notes.
Fuck the fact that he’d made me feel unsafe in my own home.
I was amazing. And I wouldn’t be going anywhere. This stoppednow.
