This felt like a powder keg ready to explode at the wrong word. I tried to infuse as much reassurance in my response as possible. “I don’t know what you saw, because I was looking at you. But none is of any consequence. After spending time with him, I know how I feel. You are the one I’m in love with.”
His eyes stayed locked on mine. “I love you, too.”
“You were right about one thing. Talking was exactly what we needed to break the ice. We’ll be fine tomorrow at practice.”
His smile didn’t reach his eyes. “Good. I’m glad.”
Something else was eating at him. “What else is bothering you?”
“I believe you, Axel. But I’m not so naive as to think things can’t change with proximity. Please, if you decide you want him back, promise me that you won’t make me watch it happen.”
My face contorted. What the fuck was he saying? “Come here.”
“No.” He stood and tried to move away, but I caught his hand. “Come here.” The finality in my tone caused him to hesitate. “Please,” I added.
As he sat, I pulled him onto my lap. Leaning forward, he buried his face in my neck. “I’m sorry Heath’s arrival made you feel insecure. Somehow, I’ve made you doubt us.”
“No, you haven’t. But the last time I blindly trusted someone, she gave me up. My mother told me she loved me, then left me behind. I’m still that little boy clinging to his stuffed animal, crying himself to sleep at the thought of being left behind again. And I’m terrified that you’re going to decide I’m too damaged and do the same thing.”
He was so wrong. “I will never leave you behind. Ever. And I will do whatever it takes to prove it to you. If I need to stop playing hockey to be with you every day, I’ll do it. If I need to ask for a trade, it’s an option I will explore. The only stipulation is you must be willing to go wherever I go.”
Luca shook his head, rasping his stubble along my neck. “I can’t ask you to do that.”
Pulling him up, I took his face between my palms as tears filled his eyes. “That’s not your choice, love. It’s mine. I’ll do whatever it takes to make you feel secure in us. One day, when we’re ready, I’ll make you mine, permanently.”
Sighing heavily, he melted back into my arms, right where he belonged.
It didn’t take the sports media long to make the connection between Heath and me. Even though we were never outed as anything other than best friends, the press enjoyed that angle. They dug up old photos by the time our home opener rolled around, and there was talk about us on social media. Karlsson was the one to break it to me. “Hey, did you see this? What’s withthe hair, dude? You look like one of those crested birds with all the feathers on their head.”
Taking his phone, I looked down at an old photo of Heath and me playing in London. “I had a rebel thing going on. God, that was a long time ago.” I handed it back to him and went back to getting suited up. “Don’t show that around in here.”
“I don’t have to,” he quipped. “It’s all over IG, and the PR people tagged you. The fans are loving it.”
I just hoped Luca didn’t see it. With an hour to game time, I considered texting him with the photo to get ahead of it. But by the time the guys finished razzing me about it, Coach Byers entered the locker room carrying two jerseys, and I’d forgotten all about it.
“Gentlemen,” he said, quieting everyone down. “I see you’ve all enjoyed the throwback photos of Hughes and Williamson. Nice hair by the way.” I rolled my eyes but took the ribbing. “Before we go out there tonight, we need to name our captains. I believe that when the team chooses its leaders, it means more than when the coaching staff does it. Your captain represents the team on the ice and off. The captain sets the pace and leads you into battle. He’s the one you go to for advice.” He held up his paper. “You guys have spoken.” With his head held high, he looked around the room. “Karlsson, you get the A.”
“Yes,” I said, standing to lead the applause for our alternate captain. Coach handed him his new jersey and shook his hand.
Karlsson held it up for us to see. “Thank you. It’s an honor. I won’t let you down.”
Everyone quieted down, waiting for the next announcement. I wished it could be Decker, but the league didn’t allow goalies to be captains any longer. And that was a fucking shame. He was the heart of this team, in my opinion.
“And now for your captain. We’ve all been watching how you work together, and I think we’ve put together something specialhere.” His eyes drifted around the room to every player. “So the man you have chosen to lead you to the cup is a perfect choice.”
I looked around at my teammates. “Hughes,” he said, calling my attention to him. “They chose you to wear the C.”
Unfamiliar emotions surged through me as I stood and took the new jersey. It was a moment every kid dreamed about. Being chosen by your teammates for an honor greater than any before. They put their faith in me, and for the briefest of moments, I wished my father could have been here to see this, for him to see that even though he hadn’t chosen me, my teammates, and more importantly, Luca had.
“I don’t know what to say.” I looked down at the C on my new jersey. “I don’t take this lightly. I will be here for you and do everything within my power to support every single one of you on and off the ice. We’ve got your back, no matter what.”
“We’ve got yours, cap,” Guerin called out.
I smiled as they applauded. Taking my seat, I stared down at the jersey in my hands as pride swelled within me.
A hand landed on my shoulder, and I looked up into the blue eyes of my old friend. Heath smiled down at me. “Congratulations, Ax. You’re going to make a great captain.”
I stood and accepted a hug with a slap on the back. “Thanks. I appreciate that.” Decker was next to congratulate me, followed by Karlsson.
