Luca’s eyes blinked repeatedly. “Why would you do that?”
I tucked myself away since I’d literally blown this evening. “Because I wanted to.”
A horror-struck expression took over his face. “Why? It’s a piece of …” He stopped, better thinking his reply. “… Brooklyn history. It’s old and needs a ton of repairs.”
“Yes, I’m aware. I’ve been there.”
Exhaustion took over as he slumped against the wall. Scrubbing his hands over his face, he gave up the fight, instead searching my face as if another motive existed. “Why my building?” He held up his hands. “Never mind. I know the answer.”
“I think you know the answer to that. IF you had just let me pay the rent, or just fucking moved in with me, I wouldn’t have had to go this far.”
Pressing my body to his, my hands went to their favorite place. Cupping his face, I ran my thumbs under his eyes. He was tired. “I’m looking to invest in the community. It needs more upgrades than the previous owner was willing to do. I’m willing to do them. And more.”
“An investment in the community is donating to a food bank or an after-school program, or resurfacing the basketball courts at the park for the kids. Maybe donating money to the senior center. Not buying a freaking building in a city you might not stay in.”
I scrunched my brow. “What makes you think I might not stay?”
Fear crept into his eyes as he spoke quietly. “You could be traded at the end of the season.”
“I could. But I could also choose to retire. I don’t have to go anywhere.”
“I know you. And I also know you bought my building to benefit me.”
“Why is that a bad thing to you?”
His eyes became glassy. “When this thing between us ends, you may never want to see me again. That gives you the power to take my home away. Don’t you understand why I might be worried?”
It bothered me that he had those thoughts. How had we gone from a sexy ending to the evening to this? “What makes you think this is going to end? Have I given you some idea that I’m looking for a way out?”
Luca shook his head. “No. But people leave, Axel. That’s all I’ve ever known. I have to protect myself and be ready when it happens.”’
“I don’t know how to prove to you that I’m not leaving, other than keep showing you how much you mean to me. If this were a temporary thing, and I didn’t see a future, I wouldn’t do any of this. Do we need to tattoothe property of Axel Hughesacross your body for you to believe me?”
“I’m scared. Every time you do something magnanimous like this, it draws me in, and I wait for the other shoe to drop. For you to say it’s not worth the effort. That I’m not worth it.” Luca’s hands trembled, and I knew I’d handled this all wrong.
Leaning in, I put my forehead on his. Holding his trembling hands, I pulled them between our bodies. “Let me give you some truths. Every time you’re near, or walk through my door, I realize what it’s like to be truly happy outside of hockey. And I forget why I built my walls.”
“Sounds like we’re a mess together.”
“I disagree,” I murmured. “It sounds like we’re perfect for each other. We need time to learn how to navigate away from our past to get to our future. So please stop trying to end us before we begin.”
Luca released a breath that he’d been holding. “I’ll try. I’ve never felt safe with anyone…until you.”
My heart swelled to bursting as I kissed his forehead. “I don’t deserve you, but I can’t let go. So please don’t ask me to.”
“Okay,” he sniffled. “I can try.”
Leaning back, I used my thumbs to wipe away the tears. “Hear me out. Allow me to tell you what I have planned for your building. I think you’re going to like it.”
“Okay,” he replied warily.
“All tenants will be receiving a rent adjustment. From the paperwork I received, everyone is paying too much to live in a place that’s been neglected. That’s the previous owner’s greed getting in the way. I don’t do business that way.
“That will help so many of my neighbors.”
“That’s the point. You should be able to cover your half without a second job, which will allow you to focus on finishing school. I have contracted an architectural firm to handle the upgrades. When the season starts, I need to focus on my team and will turn most of it over to my management team. When construction begins, we will have secured temporary housing. But you will be living with me.”
“You’re such a good person.”
