“What?” Axel asked.
I bit my lip, then turned to him. “Have you always gone by Axel?”
He shook his head. “No. I shortened my real name for a cool one people would remember when I went to the junior league.”
As my mind filled with memories, it all began to make sense. “When he would come home from traveling, he used to slip up and call me Max sometimes. I thought it was because it was his brother’s name. I didn’t think anything of it.”
He huffed. “He’s a pretentious asshole. Two fucking families. No wonder your step-monster was such a bitch.”
I made the mistake of taking a sip, only to spit it all over the bar. Axel cracked up as he reached behind the bar for some napkins. “You okay?”
I took the napkins, then coughed and wiped my runny nose. “Warn a guy next time, would you?” I laughed. “But god, that’s so accurate. I can’t wait to tell Thomas.”
Axel patted me on the back. “Speaking of the hottie, are the two of you a couple yet?”
I smiled, unsure of how much to say. “I think so.” I took a sip of my drink. “We’re going to figure it out once this is settled and we get home.”
“What’s there to figure out? You’re obviously into each other.” The smartass grin on his face reminded me of Lennox. Always poking the bear.
“You know what I mean. We just need a little time. This is new for both of us.”
“Hmm,” Axel hummed. “The two of you will figure it out. It’s just sex. Making each other feel good and cumming your brains out. Men just know how to make another man feel good.” He waggled his eyebrows.
My heart rate skyrocketed, imagining that with Thomas. I wanted that so badly. “Until I met Thomas, I’d never experienced a soul-deep connection like our parents must have had. It was painful watching her relive that heartbreak all over again.” I paused and took a sip of my drink.
“I know,” he said. “I hate that story. It’s so fucking sad. But I can’t forget they did what was best for them, not us, brother.”
I emptied my glass, then set it down. “I know.” He was right. They’d put their needs above what they were doing to us. And that was going to take a long time to get over unless I got some therapy.
“Have you ever talked to anyone about all this? I mean a professional who can give you perspective.”
He shook his head. “No. I’ve always used the ice as my therapy. Channeled my feelings into the game. But I probably should at this point. I don’t really want to live with the anger the rest of my life.”
We stayed at the pub another hour, talking about things we liked. When it was time to leave at the end of the week, it was difficult saying goodbye to him. I’d visited my mother almost every day, and I was grateful for the time with her. Finding themhad changed me and helped unravel the emotions I had kept locked away most of my life. It had also given me a backbone to stand up to my father and Melinda, who would either eat me alive and tear my family apart or eventually set me free. Just like my brother, I would need some professional counseling before confronting them. Thomas couldn’t bear it all, and it wouldn’t be fair to him.
Axel rode with us to the airport the day we left. He spent the night at our rental house so we could spend as much time together as possible. When the time came to say goodbye, I fell apart all over again. “I don’t want to say goodbye to you,” I murmured into my brother’s ear. He was as torn up about the separation as I was. In the ten days we’d been in London, I’d found the missing piece of me, and I didn’t want to let it go. But he had to get back to Germany for his pre-season, and I had to get back to San Diego.
Holding me tightly, he whispered, “I don’t either.” He swallowed audibly, then took a deep breath. “But now that we’ve found one another, we’re only a phone call away.” I could hear the emotion in his voice, rougher than normal.
Pulling back, I wiped at my eyes. I was a grown man, crying at the airport. “Have you ever considered the NHL? I’m sure you could get on a team. There are thirty-two of them, and three are in California. We could be close.”
Axel looked at me with a sad smile. “Then who would take care of Mum and Perry?”
“They could move too,” I suggested. “She’d love California. The sun shines every day, and it’s warm. We could buy them a house on the beach, like mine.”
Axel laughed, but his eyes were sad. “Maybe one day, little brother, when the time is right.”
He was right. Life wasn’t that easy to navigate around contracts and continents. My eyes filled with tears again as Ihugged him to me. I let the tears flow and the ugly crying commence until I felt Thomas’s hand on my shoulder. I knew it was time. “We’ve got to go, sweetheart. Our flight is boarding in half an hour.”
I nodded, then took a look at Axel. The tears continued to fall as I fished my phone out of my pocket and handed it to Thomas. “Would you take a picture of us, please?”
He smiled and took the phone. “Sure.”
Wiping my eyes with my fingers, I took a deep breath and wrapped my arm around my brother. We smiled for the photos, then Thomas handed my phone back to me. I looked at them as my eyes filled again, making it impossible to see them.
“Damn,” he croaked. “I didn’t realize I was going to break you, little brother.”
We laughed as I texted them to his phone. “Yeah, well…”
