I glanced over at Lennox, who hung his head as he finished dressing. Evan was stoic as well.
“Gentleman, you’ve had a hell of a season, and I’m proud of the things we accomplished. Winning the conference again this year was quite a feat. The new people we brought into our family complemented us more than I ever expected. Although it didn’t end how we wanted, it gives us something to work for nextseason. With your help, we’ll be better and stronger. Enjoy your offseason. You deserve it.”
When Coach left the locker room, I looked over at Colin, who was shaking hands with some of our teammates. The word had gotten around that he was going back. Glances landed on me, where I tried to quell the growing unease in my gut.
After he’d made the rounds to everyone, including our friends, he walked to me, his team duffle hanging on his shoulder. I stood and looked into his brown eyes. “Ready to go home?”
He nodded. “Yeah. I need to finish packing.”
I picked up my bag and held out my hand. He slipped his into mine and walked to the car.
The ride was quiet, and when we got home, he stood in the family room with his hands in his pockets and looked around.
“Can you return the car to the leasing agent? I should have done that Friday, but…” he trailed off.
I nodded. “Whatever you need.”
He looked up at me with tears in his eyes. “I hate this. I goddamn fucking hate this.”
I went to him and held him in my arms. “You act as if you’re not coming back.”
He gripped me tightly. “There’s a chance I won’t. Things don’t go well for me, Carson. Look at my life. Nothing has ever gone my way until I came here.”
I held him out and looked him in the eyes. “Then I’ll come to you. In fact, I should be going with you now. Why the fuck didn’t I think of that? All of this means nothing to me without you.”
Colin reached up and stroked my face. “There was no reason to think this would happen. And ya can’t just pick up and go, love. You’ve got a commitment to our team. If we had won, they would have needed you.”
My eyes filled with tears. “They need you, too. I need you. And I refuse to lose you. So stop trying to fucking break my heart.”
He leaned in and pressed his mouth to mine. “Okay. I’ll try. But I’m used to losing everything that means anything to me. This is what hope gets you. A broken heart.”
I shook my head emphatically. “This is not us breaking up. It’s you going back to take care of things, then coming back to me. And Bella. And Allister.”
He smiled. “Are you stealing my cat, St. James?”
“No. This is his home. There’s no reason to drag him back to Australia, just to come right back.”
His throat bobbed. “And what if I can’t? What then?”
I cupped his face and looked into his red eyes. “Then I’ll bring us all to you. And you can’t stop me.”
I wiped away a tear with my thumb. “So bossy,” he said, gripping me tighter.
“So in love,” I whispered, and brought his lips to mine.
Chapter 30
Colin
Iwas exhausted by the time the sun came up. We’d slept fitfully, tossing and turning until we finally gave up and simply held one another. Our bodies were exhausted, but our minds and hearts ached too much to rest.
We clung to each other all night as we listened to the waves outside. There were long silences when I thought he might have been asleep, but as it turned out, he wasn’t. Carson would run his hand through my hair or kiss the top of my head. I tried not to move, wanting to memorize the feeling of his arms around me.
When the sky lightened, I knew my time was up. I’d never dreaded the sunrise like I did now. It meant the sand had all fallen to the bottom of our hourglass.
“I need to check my email,” I whispered to him.
Carson loosened his hold long enough for me to pick up my phone. He sat up while I opened the app, refreshing it a hundred times. My only new correspondence was my airline reminding me to check in.
