“What the fuck is this?” Carson asked as he pulled out an identical Rams T-shirt to mine.
“I thought we could be matchy-matchy. And now you’ll never forget the moment we met. I thought it was sweet, really.”
Carson laughed and stuffed it back into the box. He didn’t bother to fold it, like he did everything else.
“This is for you,” he said, handing me a box wrapped in red paper.
I smiled. “What is it?”
“You know how Christmas works, right? Open it.”
Pulling back the tissue, I found a Storm jersey. “I have one of these.”
He grinned. “Yeah, but you don’t have one of mine.”
I howled with laughter. I couldn’t say what I wanted to, but I knew what he was doing.
“Thank you. Again, best Christmas ever.”
We spent the rest of Christmas Day watching football and eating. I’d never consumed more food in my life. But it was worth it. It had been a fabulous holiday, and when we had to leave the following morning, it was difficult to say goodbye.
“We’ll see you when we return from London,” Elizabeth said. “We’ll be watching.”
I hugged her, then moved on to George. “Thank you for everything.”
He wrapped me in his arms and patted my back. “Our pleasure. I’ll be in touch about the other issue after the New Year.”
“Sounds good.”
I didn’t care about the money anymore. My life wasn’t there; it was here. With Carson and these people.
For the first time in my life, I felt part of a family that saw me. No masks to wear, no hardened outer shell. Just me. And I wanted more.
After my interview the following day, I officially moved into Carson’s house. We lugged my remaining things from the guest house to his room. There seemed to be no reason to keep going back and forth when we spent every night in his bed. Allister had moved in back in August, so there was nothing to move.
“Do ya think he knew we’d end up together?”
Carson carried in the last box I’d received from Owen and followed me into the house. “Maybe. Animals do have a sixth sense about things. Studies in Japan have shown that cats can detect earthquakes because of their supersensitive paws. They can sense the vibrations before they happen.”
I stopped in the middle of the floor and marveled at him. “You’re a nerd. My boyfriend is a hot, sexy nerd. Do you have secret nerd glasses because I find them hot? I might even drop to my knees right now and suck your nerd dick.”
Carson threw his head back and laughed, sending a jolt of love through me. I once thought it was simply lust I felt for him, but now I realize it was more all along. The kind of feelings that give you butterflies and make your heart race. The feelings that make you say things you normally wouldn’t and lose track of the world around you when they’re near.
It was terrifying, yet wonderful at the same time.
I put my box on the floor, then took the one he was holding down with it.
I was noticing things I’d missed. Carson’s smile is so different now. He was open and didn’t think twice about kissing me or holding my hand in public. And for the first time in my life, I felt his love in my bones.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, smiling at me.
I wrapped my arms around him and held him tight. Carson clung to me, placing sweet kisses on my shoulder.
“Babe? You okay? What do you need?”
What do you need?
He’d always asked me that, and I’d never been able to put it into words. But it was fucking simple. “I just need you. I’m so fucking happy that I almost can’t stand myself. These feelings deep in my gut are electrifying.”
