Carson squeezed my thigh. “Good thing you’re not going anywhere, so we’ll never have to find out.”
It was too soon to say the “L” word to each other, but I felt it in his touch and the way he looked at me. When he let me sleep in or brought me coffee in bed. I felt it when I found him holding Allister like he was our baby, or secretly giving him an extra can of food. He didn’t think I’d noticed that more and more of my clothes found their way into his closet, and how he cuddled me in the shower, then lovingly got me off while holding me tightly.
I didn’t think I needed him to tell me how he felt until we got the news that week about Dane’s accident before we left on our road trip. None of us knew anything about it until he was home, but it made it really clear how easy you could lose the one you loved. One minute they were there, and the next, gone forever.
Lennox had been a mess and cried uncontrollably when he walked us out to the car. I wasn’t sure how to handle it, but Carson knew. He wrapped his friend in his arms and told him to let it out.
“I almost lost him again,” he’d wailed into Carson’s chest. “I don’t know how I’m going to handle it when he goes back to work or ships out for six fucking months. It’s goddamn torture thinking about it.”
I felt his eyes caress my face as he spoke to Lennox. He held my gaze as if he were talking to me.
“I know, buddy. I can’t imagine,” Carson trailed off. “Make sure he knows you love him every day. Don’t go to sleep withoutsaying it. You can’t always protect him, but you can love him like there’s no tomorrow.”
Carson’s words settled in my chest while my own clawed to come out. And when we got home, I told him how I felt.
“I love everything about whatever this is between us,” I said, pulling him into my arms. “I’ve never known something like this, but after watching Lennox fall apart, I need you to know how much you mean to me.”
When he stepped back, his eyes melted into mine. “You don’t have to say anything, because I see it when you look at me, or run your fingers over my skin. When you call my name, I hear it in your tone. You’ve brought me to life, Colin, and you mean everything to me.”
Our mouths met in a kiss that spoke of longing and love, making promises of a forever we might only have right now. It was hard to surrender to something when you were used to being knocked to the ground. I wanted to experience all these feelings with him more than anything in the world.
When he ended the kiss, he didn’t let go. The sincerity in his gaze almost took me to my knees. “I need you to take me apart and make me yours.”
I smiled as I ran my fingertips over his mouth. “Another first for both of us.”
Carson smiled, then flipped off the lights before taking my hand to head upstairs.
When we entered his room, I opened the balcony doors while he collected the supplies we needed. Our shared love for the sound of the ocean had made it the soundtrack of what I hoped was love. In the back of my mind, I knew if we weren’t able to stay together, I’d never be able to listen to it again.
Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath of the sea air, my shoulders rising and falling to take it in.
Carson closed the distance between us as his hands settled on my hips before slipping them around me.
I relaxed against him as warm hands found their way to my skin, their light touch sending goosebumps over me. As he kissed the spot by my ear, he worked his hands under my shirt and slowly pulled it up in the sweetest seduction.
His lips only left my skin long enough to tug it over my head before moving back to my shoulder. His palms skated down my chest to the button and zipper of my jeans. He worked them open and down my thighs until I could step out of them.
“No underwear,” he purred into my skin.
I smiled and released a deep breath as he cupped my balls in his left hand and sifted through my pubic hair with his right. My head fell back to his bare shoulder as he stroked me lightly. I was already hard from his touch, but when his thumb circled over my slit to rub my pre-cum into the tip, my hips thrust forward, seeking more pleasure.
“What do you need?” he whispered into my ear.
“You,” I breathed into the air, eyes closed and savoring his touch. But this wasn’t how this was supposed to go.
Summoning all the control I possessed, I reached for his right hand and removed it from my dick. Turning in his arms, I kissed him as I walked him backward to the bed.
Carson wrapped his arms around my waist and took me down with him onto it. With our bodies pressed together and dicks straining for one another, I kissed him until I couldn’t.
Rapid breaths escaped our lungs as I made my way down his body, peppering his skin and lighting up every nerve ending until I reached his cock. Taking him into my mouth, I savored the taste of him and committed it to memory. He moaned out my name and thrust his cock further down my throat.
“I’m getting close,” he moaned as fingers tugged on my hair.
I pulled off his cock and kissed the inside of his equally thick thighs. “We can’t have that now, can we?”
His deep chuckle reverberated through his body, making me smile.
“Prop your feet here,” I said, lifting his right foot to the edge of the bed.
