And I’d watched my parents fall apart when my brother died. It had wrecked them to the point that they were numb 24/7. They’d let go of me without knowing they’d done it.
So, no relationship entanglements would ever convince me they were worth it—because all they did was lead to getting hurt. I’d seen enough to know better. Just look at Dare, quietly pining for Greer all this time, denying it to everyone, even himself. That was reason enough for me to stay single for the rest of my life. You couldn’t get hurt if you weren’t involved.
“Why are you suddenly so quiet? That’s highly unlike you.”
I smirked, then absently peeled the label from my Portland IPA.
Dare sat his bottle down and turned toward me. “What’s going on? Does the thought of seeing the commander get you off kilter?”
I shrugged, staring at my bottle. “No. But I can admit he affects me in some kind of way. Makes me soft.”
His eyes went wide. “That’s not good. Soft is never good in a hookup.”
I laughed and shoved him with my shoulder. “That’s not what I mean, asshole. It’s just…” I thought about how to put it into words. “I don’t know. I can’t explain it. But I refuse to leave myself vulnerable.”
He nodded slowly, looking at me. “You like him.”
I scrunched up my face in protest. “No. It’s not like that. He’s a good fuck, but I don’tlike himlike him. It’ll be fine.”
Daredevil laughed. “If it feels like you have unfinished business, maybe you should just fuck him out of your system. Like fuck buddies.”
I grinned and pointed at him. It was easier to deflect than admit being around John made me feel things I didn’t want to feel. “Yes. That I can do. Is that what you’re gonna do with Greer?”
Dare grunted a non-answer, so I went back to drinking my beer and watching the baseball game on the big screen. I couldhave fun with John if he was up for it. But then Dare caught me off guard.
“You’re thirty-five, man. Maybe it’s time for you to reconsider finding someone. You don’t want to live your life alone.”
I slowly panned my gaze toward my ridiculous friend. “No. Just no. I won’t be alone as long as I have you.”
He snickered and drank his beer. But I wasn’t finished. So I turned on my stool toward him.
“First off, how is settling down with one person remotely possible when there are so many sexy people out there in the world to explore? Any self-respecting sex god knows not to limit his prowess.”
“Phantom did it,” he replied. “He’s demi and got himself a rock star. And so did Jesse. We never thought they’d commit to anyone, and look at them now. Both of them stupidly happy.” Relationships might work for some, but I wasn’t Phantom or Jesse.
I nodded. “True, but are you ready to settle down? I mean, you don’t hook up. At all.”
Dare now peeled the label from his bottle. “Yeah, well… That’s complicated.”
He was fooling himself if he thought we couldn’t see how he felt about Greer, and maybe I was doing the same thing.
The following morning, Dare and I headed out to run through downtown Portland before going to the office. We’d made it our daily cardio when we were both in town, and I enjoyed running with him. He didn’t talk much which left me to carry a lot of the conversation. All it took was one look to know he had somethingon his mind. Hopefully, a week away on the beach in Costa Rica would give him some perspective.
After returning from our run, we showered and changed before heading into the office. Anticipation mixed with a dose of apprehension filled my mind as we headed out of the condo.
What if he didn’t want to hook up again?
What if he’d already settled down?
There wasn't anything I could do either way, so I’d just move on. But seeing him every day might be a problem.
When we reached the parking lot, I looked over at Austin. “Want to ride together?”
“Can’t,” Austin said, running his hand over his head. “I’ve got some errands to run, and I have to go to the stadium.”
I snickered. “Yeah, okay. No problem.”
Pulling my keys from my pocket, I clicked the fob as we approached our almost identical black Tahoe’s backed into their parking spaces. One look at them sitting side by side and I knew we wouldn’t be going anywhere.
