I took a deep breath and tried to calm my racing heart.
“I’m crazy about you, Coop.” The words were filled with pain I couldn’t hide.
Cooper swiped the tears from his eyes. “I know you are. I know I hurt you. It’s probably the most selfish thing I’ve ever done.”
His eyes pleaded with me for forgiveness. “I’m sorry for hurting you, Adam. I’m so sorry.”
His remorseful words gave me a spark of hope. I wanted to reach out and comfort him, but caught myself before I did something stupid. “Then don’t do this. If you care about me, we can work this out. If you need space, I can give you that. I just don’t want to lose you.”
Cooper let out a deep breath and looked into my eyes. “I can’t deal with being pulled in two directions. You deserve more than that, and I’ve got so many things going on here. Maybe this is the way it was supposed to end.”
I sucked in a breath as if I’d been punched in the gut. The pain coursed through me, and I rubbed at the ache in my chest. I looked up to find his eyes and asked the one question I wish I hadn’t.
“Are you in love with him, Cooper?”
It wrecked me to ask because there was no good answer. If he said yes, it would only hurt even more. And I wouldn’t believe him if he said no. The way they looked at each other was almost painful to watch.
His big blue eyes took on a tortured gaze as he blinked up at me. So I held up my hand and shook my head no.
“Don’t answer that,” I interrupted before he could speak. “I don’t think I want to know.”
This was it.
I had two choices. I could get mad and make him feel terrible for bringing me into his shit with Foster. Or I could be honest with myself, and admit that I’d never really had him to begin with, and hope he found happiness with the big asshole.
After a moment to process all of it, I chose to steel my spine and dug deep into my soul to find a smile. How could I fault him for loving someone else?
I reached over to pull him into my arms, then hugged him. I took in the comforting scent of his shampoo and the faint hint of his cologne before releasing him. Standing, I wiped my sweaty palms on my jeans and headed for the door. There was nothing more to say, and I needed to get out of there.
Before I reached for the doorknob, I turned to look at him. He’d followed me and stood a few feet away. “Take care Cooper. I’ll miss you. I really hope you find what you’re looking for.”
He attempted to smile, but I could see my sadness and regret mirrored in his eyes. He tried to lighten the heavy mood. “Have a good tour. I know you guys are gonna take off soon, and I’ll be able to say I knew you before you made it big.”
I chuckled softly and nodded, wishing this was a nightmare I’d soon wake up from. “Maybe I should take a page out of Adele’s book and write a song about the beautiful man who stole my heart, then turned around and broke it,” I teased. “But I don’t regret a second of it, and maybe we’ll end up at Number 1.”
Cooper shrugged and looked at the floor to hide his expression from me.
“If you change your mind, call me.”
He nodded, but deep down I knew he’d never call. So I left him with the most honest thing I could say.
“You’re special Cooper Evans. Never doubt that. And don’t let him—” I paused, needing to make sure I got the words right. “Just make sure he deserves you.”
The emotions I’d pushed down for years were quickly about to overtake me. I had to get out of there before I embarrassed myself.
Opening the door, I walked out and gently pulled it closed behind me. I stood with my back against the wall outside his apartment and allowed the pain of being cast aside yet again to consume me.
As the tears slipped down my face, I bent down to pick up my duffle. Tomorrow I’d have to see if I could get a refund on the airline tickets and hotel reservations for the romantic weekend in San Francisco I’d planned.
I vowed, right then and there, to never put myself in this situation again, no matter how much I wanted someone to choose me. Sex was one thing, but I’d never allow the intimacy of a relationship again. It hurt too fucking much when it ended.
CHAPTER1
ADAM SPENCER
I hummedthe bridge to the new song I’d been writing as I styled my dark brown hair with a little product to make it behave. The fans loved my shaggy cut that allowed a few select strands to fall across my face, partially covering my green eyes. And when I unleashed a sexy grin on them, it was all over.
The magazine and online articles that featured us often mentioned how hot I was with all my sexy tattoos. Fortunately, it only took me ten minutes to look scream-worthy for them. I wasn’t complaining.
