Preston sighed and reclined his head on the back of the sofa. “Like how much I love having you here. How going to bed and waking up with you are so much better than doing it alone. And how afraid I am you’re still going to walk away from me because I was an asshole.”
The blood in my veins raced through my body, making my heartbeat accelerate. I didn’t know what to say. There was no way I could promise him anything with my internship hanging in the balance. But I had to be honest with him, because it was going to break my heart again if we had to say goodbye after all this.
“What do you mean?” I asked through the emotion welling in me.
He turned his head to look at me, emotions raw and on the surface. “Are you still in love with Evan?”
That was so not what I was expecting.
“Is that what you’re worried about? Because if that’s it, I can answer you with a definitive no. Part of me will always love him, but I’m notinlove with him anymore. It hurt like a son-of-a-bitch when we broke up, but I also knew we weren’t ready for that kind of commitment.”
Preston turned to me a little more. “Then why did he stop by and ruin my first Christmas? And then he was with you in San Diego.”
I sighed, but didn’t take my eyes off him. “I’m glad he came by at Christmas. And spending time with him in San Diego helped me get some closure on our relationship. I’ve often wondered what would happen if we were ever in the same city again, with an opportunity to get back together. And now I have my answer.”
Preston looked at me expectantly, and I smiled.
“Evan and I will always be friends, and I hope you can be okay with that. We were that long before we became anything more. But what I felt for him is different from what I feel for you.”
Preston turned a little more into me, needing more information. “How so?”
I ran my fingertips over the top of his hand and he flipped it over to lace our fingers together. “I can’t put it into words. I just feel it now that I have something to compare it to. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I think I knew the odds were against he and I making it long term. There’s no way I could have followed him and finished school. I think it was for the best.”
He took in my words and gave me a look that almost broke my heart. “I don’t want to lose you again. I don’t think I’d live through it.”
I let go of his hand and reached to hug him to me, kissing his forehead like he’d done to me so many times. “I don’t want to lose you either. We’ve fought so hard to get here, but I told you from the beginning that my career had to come first right now.”
“I know. And I’m fine with that.”
I pushed him back to look him in the eyes. “I have to do this internship in San Diego, and I’ve already tried long distance before, and it doesn’t work.”
Preston looked at me, and I saw the minute his fierce determination took over. “But you haven't tried it with me. You were still a kid back then. Now you’re an adult. The world is different on this side of 25.”
I smiled sadly at him as I rubbed my fingertips across the stubble I loved. “We’re talking three years, Preston. Do you really want to be tied to someone you see a couple times a year and over FaceTime? Is that what you want out of life?”
He scowled. “Fuck no. I want to go with you.”
My heart lept at the idea. I leaned in and kissed him. “Would you really want to give up your life here to move again? You were going to open a new restaurant.”
Preston took my face in his hands and I leaned into his touch. “I don’t care about a life here without you. I don’t want to spend one more night, much less one more hour away from you. All this shit here isn’t important any longer. Being happy is important, and I can’t be happy without you.”
I couldn’t believe he wanted to give up everything for some twenty-something. “People are going to think this is too fast.”
“And I don’t give one flying fuck what anyone thinks. You know this. I know what I want, baby. And it’s you. Wherever you’re going, I’m going too.”
I nodded at his determination, then smiled. “I really want that. And you’ve shown me what real love is.”
Preston smiled as he ran his hands down my arms. “Yeah? What is it?”
I shifted and climbed into his lap, and he wrapped me in his arms. “It’s making soup when the person you love is sick. It’s planning a romantic week in the city. It’s carriage rides in Central Park in the snow. It’s coming to the bar at one a.m. to drive me the three blocks to my apartment because it’s raining. It’s bringing me dinner at the end of a long night. It’s being willing to do anything to stay together, no matter how far the distance may be.”
His warm brown irises swirled, and the gold flecks were like stars in the nighttime sky. Preston cupped my face in his hands. “You listen to me, Nick Reed, and listen good. No amount of time or distance is ever going to stop me from loving you or us being together. If you need to move to Greenland to learn how to make ice houses, I’m going to be there to support you and whatever else you need to make your dreams come true. I want you to live your life the way you planned. All I ask is you take me with you, because I’m not sure I can live without you now that I’ve found you.”
My fucking heart was gonna burst wide open. “I can do that.”
I crushed my mouth to his and sank into the kiss. Our tongues swirled around one another, and something deep inside me settled and a sense of peace calmed me.
I don’t know how, but I think I always knew he was the one for me. And I wouldn’t let him go again.
