I turned away from him and pushed through the doors, heading for my car. I struggled to breathe as I counted the steps until I could fall apart in private. Our future flashed before my eyes in painful snapshots: our wedding, our children, holidays… making love.
When I was locked inside, I sat there in stunned silence until the pain was too much to bear. Then I pounded the steering wheel with my fists as the silent tears I’d battled to push down now burned permanent tracks onto my skin. Agony clawed its way up out of my chest and the realization I had nothing else in my life crept in.
I had to get out of here.
I had to yell and scream and cry.
I had to find a way to forget the man I loved.
And most importantly, I had to find a way to survive without Nick.
CHAPTER29
NICK
I shookas I stood in the lobby watching Preston walk away, paralyzed by the pain of having my world explode in front of my eyes. Tears flooded my face as I bent over to clutch my knees to keep them from buckling and sending me to the floor.
The sobs escaping my chest threatened to rip me open. I felt dizzy, and I was shaking uncontrollably. He’d reacted even worse than I’d expected.
I’d lost him.
And it was my fault.
I’d done the one thing he couldn’t forgive.
I registered the approaching footsteps, then suddenly I was in his arms. My eyes slammed shut as I breathed him in. But the scent was wrong, and the arms were wrong. It wasn’t Preston’s body I clung to.
“It’s okay, Nick. You’re going to be okay.”
Michael tried to soothe me, but the torrent of emotions and tears ran unchecked down my face. I tried to quiet the agonized sounds coming from me, but it was no use. I couldn’t stop. Might not ever be able to stop them.
Michael clutched me to him. “Let’s sit down,” he said, keeping his arm around my shoulders as he led me to an empty room.
I collapsed into a seat and put my head down on the table. Crying uncontrollably, I heard Michael speaking softly, then closed the door.
I’d felt this gut-wrenching pain once before. After Evan and I broke up, I’d sworn off ever getting involved like this again. Why had he made me fall in love with him? Why had he relentlessly pursued me like he did?
“What can I do?”
Michael’s hand gripped my shoulder as I cried into the table. My chest ached like my heart had been ripped out of it, leaving nothing but the pain behind.
I picked up my head enough to reply. “Nothing. There is nothing to do.”
Michael moved his chair closer and put his arm across my shoulders again. “Give him time to cool off. He’s just shocked. And I am so fucking sorry Jason asked that question.”
I shook my head from side to side. “It’s my fault. I should have been more specific from the beginning.”
More tears flooded my eyes, so I put my head back down on my folded arms as the memory of him stalking to the parking lot and his harsh words gutted me.
The door opened, and my heart leapt into my throat, hoping it was Preston. But it was Gloria, and my sobs came even harder.
As I continued to embarrass myself, I heard Michael talking to her. “I’ll explain later,” he said quietly to Gloria. “I’ve got him from here. Thanks for bringing his things.”
“Is there anything I can do?” she asked him.
“Yeah,” he said. “Call my office and tell them I’m not coming back in today.”
She must have nodded, because all I registered was ‘thanks’.
