“I’m happy to kill him,” Jordan says.
I can’t help but laugh. “My best friend was already thinking of places to bury him.”
“I’m up for that. What did she decide?”
“Burial at sea.”
Jordan nods, waiting for the waitress to place his food and tea down on the table. “Perfect. I have that huge car with a massive boot. Can finally put it to good use.”
“Well thank you, I’ll keep it in mind if he ever makes it back.”
Jordan goes about stirring milk and sugar into his tea and prepares his scone, before looking back up at me. “You’re taking it better than I would, that’s for sure.”
I snort out a laugh. “Have you ever met the Graves family? I’m honestly surprised it took Archie this long to be unfaithful.”
“I knew about Grandpa Graves being a womaniser, but Dominic?”
“I mean, I don’t think Dominic ever cheated on anyone, he’s too much of a straight arrow for that. But all the wives? All the girlfriends? He may not have cheated but he sure likes to get around.”
“Do you know who she is?”
I shake my head with a sigh. “No, I just know she likes red and has really big tits.”
Jordan almost chokes on his scone. “That narrows it down I guess.”
“We’ll figure it out any day.” I drain my cup of the last of my tea, and place it back on the saucer. “And how are you all doing? The lads, the team?”
Jordan chews thoughtfully and shrugs. “It’s, uh, been a bit of a time I guess. Ricky took it really hard, blamed himself for not noticing that something was up.”
“Why should he notice that?”
Jordan hesitates, shifting in his chair with pursed lips. “Archie had been grilling him for information on the FCs in Spain, life in Spain, things like that. Ricky didn’t think anything of it, just thought you and him were considering a move or something.”
“Ricky doesn’t need to blame himself for that, that’s not his fault.”
“That’s what I told him.” Jordan shakes his head sadly and throws his napkin on the table. “I hate that the club is more peaceful without him here.” He eyes me apologetically and reaches across to take my hand. “Sorry, I shouldn’t say things like that, just stokes the bloody flames, doesn’t it?”
“No, no, I was saying the same thing to Dominic last night.”
“It feels so wrong, but Archie was so… volatile. The living definition of walking on eggshells.”
I nod, gently pulling my hand out from underneath Jordan’s, keenly aware of our position at the window and not wanting anymore stupid rumours to go flying about.
“Archieisvolatile. That’s the most consistent thing about him. His ability to make every situation feel like you’re about to walk into an exploding bomb”
Jordan frowns, looking down at his lap and fidgeting with his fingers. “I hate seeing you sad like this.”
“I’ll be alright.”
“No, I mean…” He looks back up at me with a sigh. “Why did you two get married? And I don’t mean this in any way, I’m not saying you should remember the good times and move past this, but… I just want to understand why. What it was that made you go, he’s the one for me?”
I stare back out the window, casting my mind back to those days, so long ago, when I didn’t even know who Archie Graves was, not really.
“I don’t think there was ever a time where I decided he was the one for me. He decided I was the one for him, and that was enough.” I shrug, focusing on the rain pooling on the street outside. “I don’t mean that to sound self-pitying, like I didn’t make a choice. I did. But now I don’t even really know what I was choosing, does that make sense?”
Jordan laughs softly. “Not really, no.”
I look back at him with a chuckle. “No, it doesn’t, does it?” I shrug and throw my hands in the air. “I don’t know. All I know is that I was told to be star-struck by him, so I was. Who he was, that never mattered to me. I just wanted him, and I wanted to be enough for him. But that was never going to happen. Archie’s chasing something to make him happy, and I don’t think thatsomethingexists outside of his imagination.”
