I would love him in silence.
“What are you thinking about?” Neil asked, and I jumped. I hadn’t realized he’d gotten so close to me again. His lit cigarette hung from his lips as he watched me with a frown. There was no way I could tell him what was actually going on in my head.
Silent love was all that I could give him until he was capable of accepting what I felt for him. Though I still thought it was crazy that he could be content without giving or receiving feelings.
“Just that I’m glad you talked to me. When I asked if I could be with you, that was exactly what I meant: I want you to communicate with me, tell me more about yourself, and put a little more of your trust in me. Thank you for doing that.” I gave him a small, shaky smile. His eyes slipped down to my lips, and my reaction was immediate.
I went red all over again. His fresh scent mingled with the dissipating smoke in the air warmed me all over. I could never really be in control of myself when I was close to him because my very soul was caught in his stare. “I think I’d better get changed and go to bed now,” I added quickly.
In reality, I wanted nothing more than for him to follow me to my room and make love to me, but I couldn’t allow myself to give in to him after what happened with Jennifer.
He had to learn that he couldn’t have me whenever he wanted and that I deserved to be shown some respect.
“Get undressed right here, in front of me,” he ordered, making me shiver. “I know you’re wearing different underwear than usual. Show them to me.” He looked at me, his face full of expectation, and then leaned back on the kitchen island, waiting for me to obey him. How did he guess about the lingerie? Maybe he could tell because my dress was so tight?
“I’ll undress, but you can’t touch me,” I said clearly, though the need to feel his hands on me was nearly overwhelming.
Neil looked annoyed at my peremptory tone, but I didn’t care. I had my own dignity to defend, and I was going to do so, starting right now.
Did he really want me?
Then he’d have to give up all the rest of them.
“Okay,” he agreed, stubbing out the cigarette in a nearby ashtray. He blew out the last of the smoke through his nose and folded his arms over his chest, adopting a casual stance. Obviously, he was ready to enjoy the show. I felt a little awkward because Neil knew so much about dazzling a woman, but I tried to get a hold on my feelings of inadequacy.
I had learned what he liked and how to make him feel good.
First, I slipped off my coat and tossed it on the sofa.
Then I bent one arm behind my back and unzipped the dress. Then I slowly let the sleeves fall, allowing the garment to slip down over my hips and legs until it was just a puddle of fabric around my ankles. Neil narrowed his eyes and looked me up and down, lingering over my breasts, squeezed into white lace. The deep breath that made his chest swell told me that my body was having the same effect on him that his muscles had on me, and I was pleased.
I lifted first one leg and then the other to step out of the dress, balancing on my high heels, sexy lingerie, and thigh-highs in full view just like he’d wanted.
As long as I wasn’t completely naked, I could hold on to some self-confidence.
Neil rubbed his lower lip with his index finger while his other hand clutched his bicep.
What was he thinking? Did he like it? Or no?
Then, he focused in on some of the visible bruises on my skin, and hisforehead wrinkled, giving him a more glowering expression. I had the vague suspicion that he was chastising himself for putting those bruises there.
Then, he rose and moved toward me.
Everything about him—his catlike stride, his magnetic stare, and his lips tipped up into an alluring smile—made me think he was about to do or say something that was going to embarrass me.
My knees went weak as he cut the distance between us.
When he stopped right in front of me, I stopped breathing.
Even with the heels, I wasn’t at eye level with him, so I still had to tilt my head back to look him in the face.
Neil looked me over from head to toe and let out a groan.
“White lingerie…” he murmured. “I like it,” he added.
A compliment; I could hardly believe it.
“Wow, I feel honored,” I joked, trying to deflate some of the erotic tension that had arisen between us, but he ignored me, concentrating instead on my body.
