A friend? A…family member? Just some guy I knew?
“He’s…” I trailed off, still staring at Neil as he continued to sit unmoving on the porch steps, his legs splayed, elbows balanced on his knees, and his leather jacket straining against his crooked arms. Dressed all in black, he looked like damnation in the flesh. “This is Neil,” I managed finally. “Miller,” I added, sounding awkward.
My whole mood had shifted again, and I was back to being that overawed little girl who was hooked on the golden gaze that had now locked on me. I shivered; it felt as though those eyes could see straight through myclothes and examine the goosebumps that covered my skin underneath. I gave a strangled gasp.
“Oh…and why is he just sitting there motionless? He looks like a crazy person,” Ivan noted. He wasn’t wrong; Neil looked far from lucid. I’d seen him lose control on a few occasions, and that had been enough to show me that there was a dangerous part of him that he usually tried to hide.
“It’s fine, Ivan. You can go,” I reassured him, trying to sound calm. He moved closer to me, shaking his head.
“I’m not leaving you here alone with…that person.” He gestured to Neil like he was some sort of unwanted pest, and I hoped my Disaster wouldn’t take exception. But I didn’t even have time to urge Ivan to get out of there before Neil was getting to his feet and taking a final drag from his Winston. He flicked it to the ground, stepped on it, picked up the butt, and very deliberately put it in his cigarette pack. Then he cocked his head to one side, carefully scrutinizing the guy who had driven me home.
“Seriously, Ivan, I think you need to leave.” Something stirred within me, and I began to get afraid. I could see the tension in Neil’s body, the deep, slow breaths he was taking, and the agitation that swam in his veins. It was extremely inadvisable for Ivan to stay there with me any longer.
“Are you kidding?” Ivan insisted. “Look at him. The dude looks high or something. Who the fuck is this guy?” he asked again.
The situation was deteriorating. When Neil went quiet like that, it meant something bad was about to happen.
I took Ivan by the arm and tugged him back.
“You need to go! Now!” I insisted, raising my voice, and his eyes widened in surprise. He tried to shake me off, not yet realizing that I was only trying to save him. He grabbed my wrist to pull my hand away, and I heard a furious exhalation behind me. Neil had leaped into motion and came at Ivan, shoving him until he staggered backward. Neil followed that up with an immediate right hook to Ivan’s jaw, and I leaped to my friend’s defense, putting myself between the two of them.
“Oh my God! Ivan, are you okay?” I drew closer to him in horror, but he recoiled from me, terrified. He touched the place where he’d been hit andwiped away the thin line of blood that leaked from the corner of his mouth. He stared wide-eyed at Neil, panting heavily behind me.
“What the fuck?” He stared at the blood smeared on his hand before looking back up at Neil and me. “This dude’s fucking psycho. What is his problem?” he shouted wrathfully, and I didn’t have the guts to turn around and check Neil’s expression. I knew that if Ivan kept provoking him, Neil was going to give in to the untamable beast that he became when he fell into a rage.
“Please just go.” I was on the verge of tears as I pleaded with Ivan. I couldn’t have forgiven myself if anything else happened to him because of me. Ivan seemed to read the sincerity in my eyes; he could see that this wasn’t a joke or game for me.
“Am I seriously going to have to leave you here with this guy?” He gestured to Neil again, and I heard a growl of irritation from behind my back. I could smell his familiar scent of musk whenever the wind changed. Which meant that he was very close to me as well as being in a dangerous headspace.
“Yes,” I said finally. Ivan backed up a few steps, massaging his injured jaw where a large bruise was forming already. A few moments later, he left, albeit with visible reluctance. I squeezed my eyes shut and breathed in and out slowly.
I knew the worst was still to come.
Hesitantly, I turned to face Neil, who had been standing motionless behind me that whole time. There was already a wicked expression plastered across his face: He was pleased to have hurt Ivan.
I moved past him and walked up to the front door. My hands shook as I attempted to get my key into the lock, and that gave Neil enough time to catch up with me.
Is he planning to come inside too?
I wasn’t brave enough to ask him, so I just unlocked the door and walked inside, the devil himself hot on my heels. Fortunately, Mom was out to dinner with Anton again. She wouldn’t have let him step foot in the house if she were there. I tossed my coat and purse onto the living room couch and went into the kitchen to grab an ice pack from the freezer for his hand.
“So…have you completely lost your mind or what?” I demanded with a shaky voice, but there was no hiding the anger in it. I tossed the ice pack onto the kitchen counter nearest to Neil, keeping my distance from him. Neil just stood there looking entirely shut down. The rage that lit up his eyes was alarming, to say the least. His right hand shook occasionally, and his knuckles were red from where he’d hit Ivan’s face, but he didn’t seem to be feeling any pain. He was still restless with dark energy that he needed to vent.
“Your hand is swelling up. Put some ice on it,” I said, swallowing thickly, but he just continued to stare at me, not saying or doing anything else. Then, his eyes squinted fractionally and flicked to the ice pack before returning to me.
Nothing. No reaction on his face.
This was abnormal behavior, even for him, and I didn’t know what to do with it.
“Are you going to tell me what’s going on with you? How long have you been in Detroit? Also, why did you come to Detroit?” The more I tried to communicate with him, the more Neil seemed to retreat into his own chaotic inner world.
“Because…” He clenched his jaw and scrubbed a hand over his face. “Because I’m a dumb motherfucker, that’s why,” he continued confusingly, the fury in his voice making me wince. I stepped back until I was pressed against the counter, prepared to defend myself against whatever insanity he had for me. Neil glanced around, spotting a glass vase that my mother had recently finished painting, and snatched it up with one hand. He shot me a pitiless looked and then hurled the vase against the wall as hard as he could. I gasped and covered my ears automatically as it shattered.
“I came all the way out here to work things out with you after that bullshit phone call of yours, and what do I find, Selene?” he shouted, turning around to face me. I thought that after obliterating that vase, his anger might have been placated slightly, but instead his chest continued to heave, his hands were still clenched into fists, and a furious look still twisted his face. “You don’t give a shit!” he went on, and I felt tears welling up. I was completely overwhelmed, and he was completely over the line. Maybe Ihad gotten too heated on that call, but why couldn’t we talk about it like reasonable adults? Why couldn’t we just sit down and talk things through until we saw eye to eye? Instead, Neil seemed determined to make me afraid of him, to shock me with this demonstration of who he really was inside.
“Alyssa told me what you did and—” I muttered, keeping myself pressed against the counter and far away from him.
“I don’t give a fuck what that girl told you. You should have listened to me. You should have trusted me!” His voice was getting louder again, and I felt completely helpless. I certainly wasn’t going to say or do anything that would match his unhinged energy.
