I had to quit it with the doubts: My friend told me the truth. She wanted to warn me about that walking disaster and make sure I knew not to trust him. It was unfair for me to be angry with her for doing me a favor. Even if it did hurt.
“Selene, I… I’m so sorry about all of this. I know how much you care about him,” Alyssa said in a weak voice as she followed me down the hallway. All the self-assurance she typically displayed had deserted her and left just the fragile, sensitive part of her behind. I sighed as I opened the guest room door, hesitating for a few moments before I answered her. I wanted to not speak rashly and wind up venting all my inner turmoil on her.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” I admitted simply.
Alyssa seemed to understand my need to push that conversation off to another time and walked into the guest room, glancing around.
“All the essentials are in here. Make yourself at home.” I turned to leave, but she called me back.
“Selene…” She stared at me, looking like she might burst into tears again. I waited motionless in the doorway. “I hope you’re not angry with me.” She dropped her gaze as she took a seat on the edge of the bed and rubbed her palms against her pants.
I considered the statement for a few moments. Could I really be angry at her for telling me the truth?
It hurt to think of Neil wanting her, wanting her so much that he’d go against his brother that way, but I couldn’t take that hurt out on her.
Alyssa wasn’t the one at fault.
“No, I’m not mad. If you need anything, I’m just over there.” I jerked my thumb toward the living room and shut her door, more than ready to be alone.
* * *
An hour later, I was sitting out on the porch steps in the cold.
I’d taken a shower and gotten into my pajamas before draping a blanket over my shoulders and heading outside. Even I couldn’t say why I was sitting there, staring up into the dark sky speckled with the occasional bright star.
Alyssa hadn’t come out of her room, and I’d also tried to lie down in bed to no avail. I’d even put in my earbuds and listened to some Coldplay songs in a desperate attempt to wind down, but even that hadn’t made me feel the slightest bit better.
Sighing, I shut one eye and held up my index finger to do something silly I used to do when I was a kid: trace imaginary lines between the stars to see if I could uncover some hidden symbol or letter there.
I drew a line between four points, four luminous stars, and the letter that emerged was an…N.
I froze with my arm suspended in midair, grimacing as I continued to stare up at the stars over my head where the giant N loomed.
What the hell?
“Perfect,” I groused, lowering my arm. “Now you’re showing up in the sky as well?” I muttered, as though I were actually talking to Neil.
No matter where he actually was, I always felt like he was somewhere nearby. Or maybe that was just my brain conjuring up unreal visions. Maybe I was just losing my mind. “I’m the hopeless case,” I muttered to myself, trying to think of some way out of this insane situation.
It was clear, however, that there was no real solution except to fully detox from the man.
Neil had infected me with his golden eyes, his domineering personality, and his sly smile, and there was probably no fix for a problem that size.
I rubbed my forehead with one hand, feeling my scar from the accident under my fingers. I sighed heavily.
I wanted Neil to get out of my head. I wanted to forget all about him and about what Alyssa had told me, but that human disaster continued to occupy all my thoughts.
He simply refused to leave.
“What symbol did you find?” I gasped at the sound of my mother’s voice.
She stood in front of me with Anton Coleman at her side. She observed me with her usual affectionate expression—she knew me well enough to know exactly what I had been doing—while Anton frowned. He was probably wondering what I was doing sitting out on the porch in the cold in a pair of pink pajamas at least two sizes too big and a yellow comforter around my shoulders.
“I found a letter. Doesn’t matter which one…” I answered flatly, waving my hand. Mom didn’t like Neil, or, rather, she didn’t trust him, and so I tried not to bring him up with her. She would undoubtedly have forbidden me to see him if she found out all the things I’d gone out of my way not to tell her.
“Hi, Selene.” Anton smiled at me and pulled back the arm that he’d had wrapped around my mother’s waist. It was a quick, hesitant movement, like he was afraid of how I might react.
I’d known for a while that they were seeing each other, though my mother hadn’t made anything official. She kept telling me they were just getting to know each other, so I didn’t push her too much on it.
