“No distractions,” I scolded him with a beaming grin. I rested a hand on his thigh, and he stiffened slightly like he always did, but he didn’t reject my touch. I stretched my other arm out the window and opened my hand as if to catch the air.
“See, that wasn’t so bad, was it?” he asked when he was forced to slow down as we hit traffic. I’d barely noticed the thrill ride was over, so lost in the whipping wind and the boy I loved so madly.
“I still say we’re lucky not to have gotten in a wreck. I was really afraid for a few minutes there,” I teased with a mocking smile, which he frowned at. The truth was, I had faith in Neil. I trusted him completely, in fact.
When I was with him, all my fears disappeared.
“Were you doubting my skills?” He turned abruptly onto a less-traveled street, and just a few moments later, he pulled into the clinic’s large parking lot.
“Which skills are you referring to?” I needled him impishly. Neil turned to look at me, and it was like a curtain of shadow had passed over him, extinguishing his easy joy and leaving his face dark and cold. I squeezed his thigh, trying to show him my support, and he gave me a sad smile.
“Today’s going to be a clusterfuck,” he said, undoubtedly referring to Dr. Keller’s invitation for him to sit in on a bibliotherapy session. “You should have picked the surprise I have for you instead of going to this fucking clinic,” he added. Several times now Neil had mentioned havingsome sort of “surprise” for me, and I could already imagine what it might be. “And it’s not about sex, if that’s what you were thinking,” he clarified. “Though we will do that after the surprise,” he went on, and I made a face. He was stoking my curiosity to make me regret telling him to accept John’s invitation.
“You can show it to me when we get back home.” I moved closer to give him a peck, but Neil leaned out of my reach. That was nothing new—whenever he was feeling pressured, confused, or exposed, he would reject my affection.
As we got out of the car and I followed him into the clinic, I didn’t even bother trying to hold his hand or take his arm because I knew he wouldn’t let me. He still wasn’t used to me making those kinds of fond gestures, which would have been so simple and normal for any other couple.
He thought of them as infringements on his independence.
Almost as soon as we entered the clinic, Dr. Lively was there to meet us.
“Welcome, you two,” he said, greeting us with a polite smile. Beside me, Neil remained cool and only gave him the smallest nod. I responded with considerably more enthusiasm.
“Hi, Dr. Lively,” I smiled at him.
“I’m glad you both came. Neil, if I could have a word with you?”
Instinctively, I took a step back, and Neil turned to look at me.
“Can you give me a few minutes?” he asked considerately. I just nodded and watched him follow the doctor toward his office.
Left alone in the waiting room, I glanced around briefly. The furniture perfectly matched the antiseptic walls, and the only spots of color were provided by a few paintings and a couple of plants.
The place was so impersonal and pristine that I couldn’t get comfortable there.
I shot a glance at the woman behind the reception desk. She was talking on the phone, occasionally pausing to type something into her computer. A couple of people who looked like employees passed through the corridor, chatting amongst themselves. None of them seemed to have taken note of my presence.
“So you’re telling me this is normal for you?”
A man’s voice resounded off the walls of an office near Dr. Lively’s; the door cracked slightly open. I ignored it at first, well aware that it was none of my business who was getting mad in what was presumably a therapy session. But then I heard another furious growl, and my curiosity got the better of me. I walked down the brief stretch of hallway to the office and approached the open door slowly. I rested my hand on the doorframe and peered inside.
It was John, having an animated argument with someone I couldn’t see.
“Exactly. And you can’t expect to just barge into his life now!” The voice that argued back at him was female and a bit familiar. I narrowed my eyes, searching for a glimpse of her face or body.
“You think I don’t know that?” he shot back, tossing some papers down on his desk. “I know how to behave; I don’t need your advice on the matter. Christ!” he blurted out, reaching the limits of his patience.
A derisive feminine laugh was all he received in return, and he shot a furious, reproving look at the woman.
“You haven’t changed a bit, I see. Your biggest flaw is still that temper. All those herbal teas aren’t doing it, I guess…” Then the woman finally passed into my field of vision as she moved closer to him. A sophisticated suit hugged her slinky form; her blond hair was pulled into a neat bun, and her high heels gave her a certain classy bearing. The woman was very familiar indeed.
She was Mia Lindhom.
What the hell was she doing there? And, more importantly, why was she having a fight with Dr. Keller?
“I have always been there whenever you needed me. You are the one who forced me to live in the shadows, Mia, but you cannot forbid me from making my own choices now,” he said firmly with an odd sort of sorrow in his voice.
“It’s not the time, John,” she answered anxiously. I still couldn’t figure out what exactly they were talking about. It was surprising to me that they knew each other at all, but perhaps Neil’s years as a patient at the clinic could explain that?
