“You’ve taken it over completely,” I said in a confused murmur. “My world,” I continued, taking another drag. I narrowed my eyes as curls of smoke wafted up while she smiled in satisfaction.
“Well, that’s nice to hear, considering all the effort I put into getting in there,” she said slyly.
“Not so much for me,” I answered brusquely. Babygirl rubbed the base of my spine and pressed herself against me. I tried to take shallow breaths to avoid succumbing to the temptation of her lovely tits against my abdomen. She must have been able to feel it because she gave me a wicked look. She walked her fingers along my abdomen, which contracted with her touch, before continuing up my chest worshipfully, as though she had gotten the chance to closely examine something surreal and fascinating. “What are you doing?” I asked her warily.
The cigarette was still burning between my lips as I let my arms relax while Selene grazed my shoulders and biceps with her fingernails. She used her index finger to trace the lines of my toki while the other hand did the same on my pikorua. I let out a guttural groan. I wouldn’t have minded if she’d just moved those fingers over a few inches so they could wrap around my cock. She could have given me a moment of pleasure to wipe away all the angst, but that apparently wasn’t her intention.
Instead, she wanted to talk.
Talk, talk, and more talk…
“I never told anyone that before, you know?” she whispered, wrapping her hands around my waist again and clinging to me. Pinching the cigarette between my fingers, I leaned sideways to stub it out in the ashtray before focusing on her.
“Told anyone what?” I asked, blowing out the last lungful of smoke away from her face.
“What I was going to tell you that night in Detroit. Do you remember?” Her eyes probed mine, and I hesitated, just observing her ocean stare.
How could I have forgotten? It had been unbearable, knowing I was about to hear those soul-eroding words from her mouth. An “I love you” only conjured up the verbal abuse, the harassment, and the sexual assault I had suffered at the hands of Kimberly.
I didn’t answer at first and went rigid instead. I thought about pushing her hands away, but instead I held still and stared at her.
“Not even to Jareth?” I asked, suddenly eager to know.
“Not even toJared,” she said pointedly, though she should have known by then that I didn’t give a shit what that dude’s name was.
“Good. Someday you can tell the right person.”
Selene must not have liked that answer because she curled her lip and gave me an annoyed look.
Her brilliant gaze dimmed, and then her hands fell away from me. The abrupt detachment was alarming.
“I know your heart, Selene. You don’t need those useless words to make me understand. Just keep showing me with your actions, with your choices and with your bravery. I have no use for banal declarations of love. I can see how you feel about me…” I tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and smiled slightly. Babygirl blinked slowly at me, her face taking on a curious expression.
“Why do you hate to hear a woman tell you she loves you?” she asked me. I had known this moment would come. But still it wasn’t remotely easy, holding back the anger and the memories those words awoke in me. Selene didn’t know any of that, though. She was just honestly curious.
“Because Kim used to whisper it while she was raping me,” I admitted with disarming coolness.
Selene gasped and pressed a hand to her mouth.
“I…I’m sorry. I didn’t know…” she babbled, mortified. She moved closer, silently asking permission to hug me. I did not object. I welcomed her warmth as she clung to me, resting her head against my torso. I breathed in the good smell of her hair and wrapped an arm around her waist, letting my hand rest on her ass, which I gave a good grope. Even in a moment like that, I couldn’t just be a normal man who was content giving her soft touches and tender affection. Instead, I remained the pervert who wanted nothing more than to stick his tongue between her thighs, like I’d done the night before.
And let her moans drown out my tedious thoughts.
Let her thighs squeeze all the misery out of my head.
Let her scream my name with all the romance inside her to tell me in a different way about this thing that bound us together. This cursed thing I refused to define…
* * *
After spilling another part of my history to Selene, I took a long shower before joining her in the kitchen. The last time I’d seen her in front of a stove, she was charring a grilled cheese sandwich that I had eaten only out of extreme hunger.
I sat without commenting for a few moments on a stool, my chin balanced on my palm as I watched her attentively. She moved gracefully around my space, like it had now become hers as well.
“I know you’re already done and you don’t have to, but have you thought about walking in the spring with the rest of your graduating class?” she asked cheerfully. The smell of scrambled eggs was in the air. Selene was undoubtedly cooking because, according to her, breakfast for someone my size should consist of more than just a cup of coffee.
As usual, I ignored her questions in favor of feasting my eyes on her tight ass. Sooner or later, I’d have that too.
How many asses had I seen in my life?
