No, I had never felt any desire to belong to someone or, on the other hand, to demand that a woman belong to me.
That kind of possessiveness and need for ownership were alien to me. So much so, I wasn’t sure I could identify those sensations if I was feeling them.
“No,” I admitted, taking another drink of coffee—I really needed it.
“So sex clearly doesn’t muddle your thinking that much, then. You’re calculating by nature, Neil. We both know that. You don’t just spout off,” Selene pointed out.
I didn’t break any of my many rules, except when it came to Selene where I broke them all.
Still, I was positive that I had been talking total bullshit the night before. I often got unbalanced and confused, but those moments would inevitably give way to reason and clear thinking. Like I was doing right then.
Without sparing her a glance, I went to drinking my coffee while her fingers began to move over my abs. Typically, I hated that kind of physical contact and had no problem making that clear to anyone, but in that moment, her delicate yet sensual touch pleased me.
She grinned impishly, her cheeks slightly coloring in minor embarrassment before moving closer until her breasts were pressing against my torso.
My breath caught like it was the first time I’d ever felt a woman’s body against my own, and every part of me was on alert as Selene stood up on her tiptoes to drop a kiss along the curve of my throat.
My eyelids grew heavy as I got drunk on those delightful touches. I let out a moan when I felt her hand slip between my legs. She rubbed the hardness in my pants with her open palm, tracing its length with a smug smile.
She could feel my body reacting to her provocation. I stared seriously at her to let her know that I was down to satisfy her—that I’d fuck her right there on that kitchen island behind her—but I was keeping myself in check.
“Where’d you get that bad habit?” Her lips grazed my beard stubble, and I was hit with the hot wave of her breath.
Where had my shy Tinkerbell gone?
“Which of my many bad habits are you talking about?” I asked irreverently, refusing to let down my guard.
“The one where you go on the defensive like I’m the enemy,” she answered softly, stretching to reach my mouth and kiss me.
Oh…what an adorable girl.
I moved away, so she missed my mouth, and Selene lowered herself back down with a look of surprise. “Does your mother know you’re here?” I asked her. “Did you two have an argument over me?” I asked her baldly, and Selene went stiff. She nodded, and I scrubbed a hand over my face, trying to restrain my urge to yell at her.
Everything was going to shit. I’d already blown up her relationship with Matt, and now I was destroying the one she had with Judith.
“She’s accepted my decision. I want to be with you,” she admitted, like it was a normal thing to tell me. I couldn’t suppress my rage, and my right hand began to tremble as I pushed it anxiously through my hair.
“This is not a fucking love story. Do you understand? How long am I going to be yours? A month, two? Not forever,” I spat. “Besides, the only reason I’m keeping you here is because I have to protect you from a psychopath, not because you’re going to be my girlfriend or my partner or whatever else…”
“Oh, so I can date whoever I want, then? Take them to bed and just…” Selene made a very articulate gesture while grinning slyly at me. I could feel the blood draining from my face.
Shit, no way! For a moment, I went weak at the knees, but I recovered and advanced furiously on her before grabbing her and pulling her roughly to me. Babygirl shut her mouth and held her breath.
“You will continue to do all of that with me. I’m the only one who can have you,” I murmured in a possessive tone I’d never used with anyone else before.
I was blind with rage, my thinking obscured by the mental image of her with someone else. I was getting nauseous, and I was afraid I was going to vomit up the small amount of coffee I’d managed to drink.
What the hell was happening to me?
I didn’t release her from my grip, not even when she clenched her teeth and I could tell I was hurting her.
“If I don’t matter to you, then why are you jealous?” she whispered, staring deeply into my eyes. Something in my chest shook loose at the sound of that word.
I was…jealous?
I never had been before. I wasn’t even sure if I could recognize jealousy in myself. But maybe with her…
“I don’t…” I started to say, but the words were trapped on the tip of my tongue. Selene smiled victoriously and stretched up again to give me a kiss. In shock, I allowed it.
