I feel torn. Torn between the life I thought I wanted to live in Braemar, alone and unmarried… and the life I might share with Gideon. Could I find real happiness with him? I’m starting to wonder if it might be possible. I’m even starting to imagine myself living among the soldiers of the Winter Court army, just so we can remain close to one another.
But then I remember that there are over thirty thousand soldiers in the Winter Court army, and a shiver rushes through me. To be surrounded by that many soldiers, all of whom have killed humans, is a daunting prospect indeed.
I can’t help but wonder how Helena is faring and whether King Theron tries to shield her from the brutality of his people.
And what about children? If we were to have children together, where would we live then? A soft feeling rolls throughme as I consider what kind of father Gideon would be. I’m starting to think he would be as patient and kind as my own father… a thought that makes it far too easy to imagine staying with him.
“Isabel,” Gideon whispers. “My little moth.” His hand briefly caresses my hair, and his eyes flutter open, but only for a moment.
Sleep quickly reclaims him, and I’m once again reminded of the sacrifice he made for my safety, all the protective wards he erected at the front of the cave.
Sighing, I lean my head on his chest and close my eyes. Eventually, I drift off.
I dream of Gideon. But unlike the last time I dreamed about him, this time he’s not chasing me. Instead, we’re entangled beneath the covers, kissing and exploring one another’s bodies with a fervor that leaves us both breathless. It feels safe and intimate, and when I finally awaken, I experience a glimmer of hope that steals my breath.
As my vision adjusts to the morning sunlight that’s spilling into the cave, I carefully extract myself from Gideon and sit up beside him. Should I wake him? No, I decide, I’ll let him sleep for as long as he needs.
I grab my rucksack and visit the largest bathing alcove, making sure to pull the curtain across the opening. Just as I remove my nightdress and fill a basin with hot water, I hear footsteps in the corridor, and a wave of affection hits me.
My heart beats faster.
Gideon. He’s awake.
“Are you naked in there, little moth?”
“Wouldn’t you like to know?” I ask with a laugh, pleased that he awoke in good spirits.
“Actually, I would.” There’s a pause, and I hear him enter one of the alcoves.Take your time getting ready, Isabel. We are in no rush today, he eventually sends down the bond.
Thank you, I tell him, grateful that he doesn’t seem in a hurry to reach his army.
I emerge from the alcove a while later, wearing my favorite blue dress, feeling refreshed and ready for the day. Gideon isn’t quite finished yet, so I return to the main area of the cave on my own. After smoothing out the wrinkles in my cloak, I place it near the fire so it’ll be warm when we’re ready to depart.
Outside the cave, the wind suddenly howls louder. I approach the nearest line of frost, which marks the final protective ward Gideon created before he practically collapsed in exhaustion, and I peer down the mountainside. The vegetation glows and glimmers brightly with ussha. I also spot a sparkling lake nearby that I hadn’t noticed when we arrived under the cover of darkness last night.
I become so lost in the awe-inspiring sight that I almost don’t hear Gideon approaching me from behind. In fact, I’m not certain that I do hear him, but rather… Ifeelhim.
He wraps his arms around me and settles his chin atop my head. I bring my hands up to rest on his arms, relishing the casual intimacy of the embrace. We stand like that for a while, admiring the view.
I’m just about to turn in his arms when a massive black bird darts inside the cave and lands just beyond the protective wards. There’s a slight blue glow around the bird, and it’s clutching a rolled-up piece of paper in one of its talons. A letter, I realize. It has brought a letter to Gideon.
“A glamoured messenger bird,” I whisper.
“Yes, little moth. Judging by the shade of the blue glow that’s surrounding the bird, I would guess it’s from the Winter King.”He kisses my cheek, then releases me and passes through the layered wards with ease.
He approaches the waiting bird and retrieves the missive from its talon. Just as Gideon turns back to me, the blue glow around the bird dissipates and it darts out of the cave.
How extraordinary. Not for the first time, I find myself marveling at the different types of magic the fae can possess. What I wouldn’t give to be able to send a letter to my father like that, so quickly and easily. Ah, if only…
As Gideon unrolls the letter, his voice reverberates in my head.I would be happy to send letters to your father on your behalf, little moth, though I’m afraid he wouldn’t be able to send a reply as swiftly. Once a spelled messenger bird makes a delivery, the magic wears off almost immediately, as you probably just noticed.He gestures toward the entrance of the cave where the bird just took off.
Thank you, Gideon. I will consider it, I tell him. While I like the idea of writing to my father, if I were to write him a letter at this very moment, I’m not sure what I would say.
The warmth I’m experiencing for Gideon is sudden and intense, but we haven’t consummated our mating bond yet, and I still haven’t completely given up on my plans of escape. It’s a vague idea, a fallback plan, that persists in the back of my mind. Because I don’t know what will happen once we reach the Winter Court army. I feel safe with Gideon, and I despair over the prospect of parting from him, yet I still harbor doubts. And the future… well, so much of the future feels uncertain.
My stomach flips when Gideon tenses. As he stares at me, clutching the partially unrolled letter, his eyes flash with hurt.
And then I realize my mistake.
