“You were my very first kiss, Isabel,” I announce. “Just as you’ll be the first and only female I ever physically claim. For as long as I live, there will only be you.”
She gasps. “What? How did you know what I was… oh, drat, you can hear my precise thoughts now, can’t you?”
I smile. “Yes, little moth. Just now, for the first time, I was able to hear your precise thoughts, word for word in your sweetvoice. Can you hear mine yet? Try and listen in. Tell me, my darling mate, what am I thinking right now?”
Her eyes widen. “You just wondered if I am wearing undergarments beneath my nightgown and, if so, just how sheer they might be. You, sir, are a scoundrel.” But her tone is somewhat teasing. There’s a gleam of excitement in her eyes too, and the hint of a smile graces her lips.
“Well?” I ask. “Areyou wearing undergarments?”
She blushes and glances away for a moment. When her gaze finally returns to me, she gives me a questioning look. “Am I truly the first woman you’ve ever kissed?”
“Yes. Among my people, we rarely fornicate with our own kind outside the bounds of a mating union. Doing so can create… complications. Well, I’ve heard that Summer Court fae are a bit freer in this regard, but the other three courts take matters of selective chastity and lineage quite seriously.” I think of King Theron and the half-brother who once tried to kill him for his crown, though the thought is so fleeting, Isabel doesn’t quite catch it.
Her blush deepens, spreading from her face down the narrow length of her neck. “I was asking about kissing, not fornicating.”
“Well, it can be the same with kissing. Many of us wait for our fated mate, particularly if a priestess shared the identity of our mate with us or announced the age at which we would meet our mate. If we know exactly when it’s going to happen, it can make the wait a bit more tolerable.”
“I find that very hard to believe. Especially when your people claim humans as pleasure slaves and concubines.” Some of the humor leaves her eyes, and a frown soon mars her face. “Wait… so you’ve never taken a human as a pleasure slave or a concubine?”
I straighten in my seat and stare directly into her eyes. “Never. I will admit that I’ve considered it more than once,but… something has always held me back. I’ve pretended to take pleasure slaves, of course, to keep up appearances, but I’ve never actually touched any of the human females I’ve brought to my tent.”
She stares at me quietly, and I sense her mind brushing against mine. I let her in and show her the truth. I let her in even though this is a part of myself I’ve long kept hidden from everyone else, even those who know me best, like King Theron, Lord Blackthorne, and my brother Lachlan.
Sending her a series of images and direct thoughts, I show her what it’s like for an unmated fae male traveling with the Winter Court army. Cruelty is expected. It’s even admired. And commanders? Well, commanders are expected to be the cruelest and most savage of all.
“You don’t possess as much Unseelie blood as most fae who hail from the Winter Court,” she says, reading my thoughts. “Sometimes, you worry that your Seelie half makes you weak, and so, during the six centuries you’ve belonged to the Winter Court army, you’ve taken human women and even orc females to your tent, glamoured them to scream for the entire encampment to hear, then released them unharmed.” Her brow creases as she studies me intently.
“Yes,” I admit. “I joined the Winter Court army about six hundred years ago, and it’s been my practice from the very beginning. My father was born in the Winter Court, but my mother was born in the Summer Court.”
“Winter and Autumn fae,” she says slowly, “are said to be the cruelest and coldest of your kind, because they possess more Unseelie blood.” She pauses and draws in a long breath. “But Spring and Summer fae aren’t quite as cruel, as they possess more Seelie blood. I’ve heard customers in the bakery talk about the origins of the four fae courts… the courts that are now crumbling.”
“Yes, that is correct. Though I wouldn’t recommend ever letting your guard down around the Spring and Summer fae. They can be cruel when it suits them, and they also take humans and orcs as pleasure slaves and concubines. Their armies are currently conquering the lands to the east, or so I’ve heard.”
She sets her utensil aside and reaches for a cup of water. Her hand trembles as she takes a small sip. After she sets the cup down, she peers at the line of frost on the floor of the cave, the only indication of the protective ward I erected earlier in the evening. She briefly muses that she feels safe because of the barrier yet also trapped. Then her thoughts return to the previous topic we were discussing. She meets my eyes.
“I sense your honesty,” she says softly. “And I am glad to learn you have never harmed a woman in the way… in the way the orcs who captured me meant to hurt me.” She pauses and her visage appears haunted, and even if I couldn’t read her thoughts, I would know she’s recalling the terror of those three days. “Once again, you have surprised me.”
As I consider her words, I reach across the table and grasp her hand. She’s relieved that I’ve never shown a propensity for violence toward women, but she doesn’t quite understand how I can thirst for battle and savor the act of slaughtering human and orc soldiers.
Then I remember that she heard my voice during the attack on Braemar. That means she heard me taunting the human soldiers before I killed them. She knows I mocked them as they lay screaming and dying. She knows I laughed when they begged for mercy.
She glances at my weapons belt that I removed earlier and placed on a small table against the wall of the cave. A visible shudder moves through her.
“During the attack on Braemar, I felt how much you enjoyed killing,” she confesses. “It scared me then, and it scares me still.”
“I enjoyed killing the soldiers in Braemar. I won’t deny it, and I won’t apologize for it,” I say calmly. “They deserved to die a gruesome, painful death. They attacked a new settlement of regular faefolk not long ago, one that was located very close to Braemar, killing every member of the small community, including several children. As a highborn fae male, I am expected to protect the regular faefolk who possess little magic. And when the people that I’m charged to protect are harmed by humans or orcs, I experience a bloodlust that sometimes feels infinite. I tell you this not so you will excuse my violence, for I am not sorry for it or ashamed in any way, but so you will understand what drives me as a commander in the Winter Court army.”
She’s quiet for a long moment as she absorbs all that I’ve said. Her surprise and unease eventually give way to reluctant acceptance. “I must admit that I didn’t know soldiers from Braemar recently attacked a settlement of faefolk. I honestly thought the armies of all four fae courts were set on complete conquest. So… if soldiers from a human or orc settlement refrain from attacking your people, you will leave them in peace?”
“Precisely.”
“Then why do human and orc soldiers keep foolishly attacking your people? Don’t they realize what they’re doing? Don’t they realize the level of pain and death they are bringing upon their own people?” Her eyes glint with worry as she considers Hollins.
I give her hand a quick squeeze. “It’s usually not the full army of a human or orc city that attacks us but rather a small group gone rogue. A group that believes they know better than their superiors.”
“That seems unfair to the other soldiers and the regular citizens of the human and orc settlements you conquer, don’t you think?”
“My people rarely instigate quarrels with humans and orcs, but once we are provoked, there is no stopping the full force of our fury and bloodlust, particularly when fae children are slaughtered.”
