CHAPTER 28
DIANA
I woke with a start. Terrifying images of a carriage rolling onto its side, accompanied by the sounds of a woman screaming, lingered on the edges of my dream.
I’d had the nightmare again. The same one I’d had right after I was told that my mother had died in a carriage accident. Only now I knew it hadn’t been an accident. She’d been murdered by Baron Tuttleford.
I refused to think of him as my uncle. Anyone who could commit such an atrocity for financial gain was a monster, and I wouldn’t claim him as family, even if it was by marriage only.
It had been amusing watching him rage in impotent fury after Clifton and I had married. But nothing about him or this situation amused me now. I would have to hold onto the belief that Clifton and his friends would be able to bring him to justice for his crime.
I remembered then what Clifton had said last night. He was returning to London with Fairfax, and he wanted me to stay in Hampshire with his mother. Tangled up with my anger at Tuttleford was sorrow that the brief, happy interlude we’d shared was over. He was already moving on without me, and I couldn’t even blame him. I wouldn’t be able to help him.
“You’re awake.”
I turned to see him coming out of the dressing room, Smithers, his valet, on his heels. I’d met him yesterday during the tour of the house. Smithers bowed in my direction then disappeared into the hallway.
I sat up in bed and watched Clifton approach. He was already dressed for the day, and I was struck, as always, by my reaction to him. He hadn’t departed yet, and I was already aware of the hole in my heart he was going to leave behind.
“Are you leaving with Fairfax now?”
He shook his head. “Not just yet. I’m headed down to breakfast first. Will you be joining us?”
“Of course.” Even though my heart was breaking, I would get through this. I could take whatever affection Clifton was willing to give me and be content with it. “Do you think your mother would mind if I asked her maid to help me dress? I don’t have one of my own.”
Clifton frowned. “I’m sure that will be fine. And if you find that you don’t like her, we can hire another maid for you.”
He sat on the edge of the bed and kissed me slowly. I poured myself into it, savoring the feel of him. But all too soon, he was drawing back.
“I’m going to make this right, Diana. If it’s the last thing I do, I’m going to see to it that Tuttleford is brought to justice.”
“I know you will. Thank you.”
He cupped my face between his hands, his thumbs sweeping over my eyelids. “Your eyes are puffy from crying. I can’t help but feel responsible.” When I started to protest, he shook his head. “I know I’m not at fault, but I was the one who delivered the news. I can’t help but feel as though I broke your heart.”
That organ was definitely feeling battered this morning, but not just because of the news about my mother. I’d been able to pretend for a time, but now I was wrestling with the reality of our relationship. I would need to be content with whatever he could give me since a man like Clifton would never be able to love me.
He kissed each of my eyelids then stood. “Your clothes should be in the adjoining room. My mother hasn’t used that bedroom since my father passed, so the staff would have placed everything from the trunk Victoria packed in there.”
I pushed back the covers and rose from the bed. “I’ll just call for the maid now.” I started toward the door but turned back to him before opening it. “Promise me that you won’t leave before I come down for breakfast.”
He smiled. “I wouldn’t dare.”
Ironically, my bedroom was everything I could have ever wanted. Lady Clifton had told me that I was free to decorate it however I wished, but at the time, I hadn’t wanted to think about a future in which Clifton and I slept in separate beds. With it’s pale-blue walls and white furniture, it was the opposite of my husband’s room with mahogany furnishings and dark walls and bed linens.
This bedroom was the type of room I’d always imagined having and was a far cry from the plain bedroom I’d had while living with the Tuttlefords. But glancing around the room now, all I could think about was just how different it was from Clifton’s room. It struck me then that it signified we’d soon be living separate lives. He’d stay in London, and I’d remain here.
I shook my head when I felt the telltale tingle of impending tears and walked over to the bell pull. I didn’t have time to indulge in that nonsense now. I needed to dress quickly and make my way downstairs. For all I knew, Fairfax was already pulling out his pocket watch and wondering when they’d be able to set off.
When the maid arrived, she was followed only a minute later by my mother-in-law. She was watching me carefully, her hands clasped at her waist. “Mary, can you please give us a minute?”
The maid had been in the process of choosing a dress from the wardrobe, but at Lady Clifton’s request, she closed it and inclined her head. With an “of course, my lady,” she stepped out into the hallway.
I frowned. “Is something the matter?”
Lady Clifton closed the distance between us and took me into her arms. I returned the embrace, holding onto her tightly. Like her son, Lady Clifton was a port in the storm for me.
“I am so sorry, Diana. Fairfax told me everything.” She paused then continued, more slowly, “I assume my son informed you about their suspicions concerning your mother’s accident.”
