Mae laughs, shaking her head at my obvious deflection.“There are, yes, but Ireland is known more for its bogs.Far less romantic imagery, though.”
“I get it, you’re used to being on the go non-stop, and you’re worried you’d lose your mind from boredom,” Liam says.“But I guarantee you’d find plenty to do.Murph was always saying he wanted to update the kitchen in the cottage.”
“And add a half-bath downstairs,” Mae adds.“He even toyed with the idea of adding an extension to the cottage so there’d be more bedrooms.”
“Right,” Liam says, latching onto the topic in a way that reminds me of Rex’s earlier enthusiasm.“You could do a lot of that work yourself, and hire locals if needed.It’d be a good way to get to know people.You could also plant the vegetable garden Murph always wanted.Maybe even build a greenhouse.”
“There’s also room out back for you to build a workshop so you could continue your woodworking,” Mae says.“And you could travel.Join a few guided tours or take Seamus’s old car and see as much of the country as you can.”
My head is spinning.As if I didn’t already have enough on my mind, now these two, as well-meaning as they are, have given me so much more to think about.“That all sounds great, but…going to Ireland isn’t practical.”
My statement is met with twin scoffs.They both look primed to argue, but it’s Liam who speaks first.“You’ve been practical your whole damn life, man.Sometimes practical is overrated.”
Mae nods.“We all know what that practical head of yours is telling you, but what’s yourhearttelling you?”
Whatismy heart telling me?My thoughts are too loud to latch onto any one, let alone tune in to what my heart is saying.
Mae must sense that, because she reaches for my hand once more.“Take your time.You don’t need to figure it all out right this minute.You know we’ll support whatever you decide.”
* * *
When I return home later that night, with my belly as full of delicious food as my mind is full of thoughts, there’s a large envelope in my mailbox from Murph’s lawyer.I assume it’s more paperwork regarding the cottage, so I toss it on the kitchen table, resolving to open it later.Like tomorrow.Or maybe next week.
Something about that envelope niggles at me, though, so after I shower and change into sleep clothes, I grab it from the table, and get comfortable in the living room.
Inside, there’s a notecard with the lawyer’s letterhead, along with two smaller envelopes labelled #1 and #2.The note from the lawyer is brief, explaining that Seamus arranged for the contents of the packet to be sent one month after the reading of his will.
I pry open the seal on envelope #1 and pull out a letter that’s several pages long.I scan the first page, my hands shaking as I recognize Seamus’s handwriting.
“What in theP.S.I Love Youdid you do now, Seamus Murphy?”I murmur, running my fingers over the paper.That now-familiar torrent of emotion swells inside me, and I’m tempted to set the letter aside until I’m feeling less raw.My curiosity is too strong, though, and so I begin to read.
Well, boyo, here I am again.Do you feel as if I’m keeping tabs on you from beyond the grave?
I’m not entirely certain of my thoughts on the afterlife, but as my time draws closer, I’d like to think there’s something more for me beyond this earthly plane.And if there is, you can be sure I’m watching over all of you.
To the outside world, it would seem that my novels are my legacy.While that’s at least partly the case, the truth is that my family is my legacy.Wherever I am when you’re reading this, I take comfort in knowing I will live on through all of you.
Now, on to the reason for this letter.If I know anything, it’s that in the weeks since my death, you’ve been taking good care of our family.But are you taking care of yourself too?
I pause, letting out a shaky laugh.After my conversation with Liam and Mae earlier, I feel as if I’m beingPunk’dby a dead man.
I’d be willing to bet good money that Fiona has been and gone by now.I imagine it wasn’t easy for you having her home, but I’d like to think my death has put things into perspective, and that the two of you were able to move on from the past.
I’m sure she was none too pleased with me when she learned I’d left the cottage to you, but she must know the last thing I’d ever want is to hurt her.Leaving you the house was my not-so-gentle way of shaking things up and opening your field of possibilities.Fiona always knew there was a life for her outside of Honeywell Hollow, but I doubt the thought has ever occurred to you.
Have you made plans to visit Ireland yet?Looked at flights?Booked time off work?I can practically hear every last one of your arguments as to why you can’t do any of those things.Or perhaps I’m wrong.You know how much I hate being wrong, but there’s nothing I’d welcome more in this instance.
It would comfort me beyond measure to think my death has been the catalyst for change in your life.Don’t misunderstand me; there’s nothing wrong with your life, but you’ve spent countless years playing it safe and keeping yourself small.I can picture your stormy, broody expression as you read that, but if you really think about it, you’ll see I’m right.
I stop reading again, bringing my awareness to my face.“Damn it, Murph.”I make a point of relaxing my facial muscles from a scowl to a more neutral expression.“Your preternatural senses always were creepy as fuck.”
I take a deep breath and continue reading.
Did you know you can stay in Ireland without a visa for up to 90 days?As I write that, I can hear you saying ‘I can’t be away for that long, Murph!’To that, I ask this: why the hell not?Give me all your best arguments, and I guarantee I can anticipate every last one.And you know what I hear?Not arguments, but excuses.
If you really don’t want to go, don’t go.But I think if you sit with it a while, the idea will appeal to you more and more.Do you know how many people would give their eye teeth for an opportunity like this?A chance at a fresh start, or at the very least some time and space to jar you out of your comfort zone and help you put your life into perspective?
If you’re cross with me because you were expecting a letter of fatherly love, I assure you that’s what this is.Tough love is still love.When I moved to Honeywell, I realized it was possible to have both roots and wings.It’s possible for you too, my boy.You’ve grown your roots deep here, but now I think it’s time for you to take a leap and fly, don’t you?
