“What’s the occasion?”I ask.
“And a good morning to you, Fiona Mae,” Mum says, sounding so much like Dad it makes my heart squeeze.She has the cadence of his words down; all she needs is the Irish accent.
“Sorry,” I say, sending her a smile I’m sure is both sleepy and sheepish.“Good morning, Mum.Nathan.”
Nathan gives me a small smile and nods in my direction.Mum starts to rise, but he pats her hand and tells her to stay put.Before I know it, he’s putting bread in the toaster and pouring me a cup of coffee.
“I can do that,” I say, crossing the room to join him.
“I don’t mind.”He bumps my hip with his, nudging me out of the way as he reaches for the sugar bowl and puts exactly one and a half teaspoons into the coffee.My first thought is, ‘I can’t believe he remembered that’s how I like my coffee’, but this is Nathan.Of course he remembers.
“Nathan, honey, will you pop another piece of bread in the toaster for me?I forgot I wanted to try the raspberry jam Aneesha sent home with me yesterday.”
“Sure thing.”He puts more bread in the toaster, then returns to stand in front of me.His assessing gaze moves over me, taking in my pajamas, my face, and my messy hair.His gaze softens in a way that’s both familiar and new.“You okay?”
He’s likely referring to the epic meltdown I had last night.Ever since the other day at the café, Nathan and I have been taking nightly drives around town.The first two nights, he waited until all the lights in the house went out except for mine, and then sent me a text that read:Drive?
Last night, he showed up about an hour after Mum went to bed.I don’t even remember what it was that set me off— a song on the radio?An inside joke that somehow involved Dad?—but suddenly I was sobbing so hard, Nathan pulled the truck to the side of the road.He didn’t say a word; he simply held my hand, his eyes shining with unshed tears.Once I stopped crying, he asked if I wanted to keep driving or go home.We drove around until nearly two in the morning.
“I’m okay,” I assure him, flicking a glance in Mum’s direction.She’s eating her breakfast with one hand while scrolling on her phone with the other.“The meltdowns are a regular occurrence these days.Doesn’t take much to set me off.”
“Understandable,” Nathan murmurs.He places a warm hand on my shoulder.He’s been touching me a lot more lately.It’s…weird.And wonderful.I’ve been trying not to read into it, knowing touch is one of Nathan’s love languages.Despite coming across as a standoffish grump, he’s actually incredibly warm and affectionate with the people he cares about.I’m still adjusting to the fact that includes me again after years of being on the receiving end of his cool aloofness.
The toast pops, and Nathan urges me to go sit.He joins us at the table a few minutes later with a plate of bacon and eggs for me and a second plate piled with toast.A jar of jam is wedged between his arm and torso.His plate is empty, but he takes a piece of toast and slathers it with jam while Mum does the same with hers.
The three of us eat in companionable silence.Nathan has just finished his toast when his phone lets out a series of beeps.He pulls it from his pocket and silences it without looking at the screen.
“Time to go,” he says, brushing crumbs onto his plate as he stands.
“Go where?”I ask.
He and Mum exchange a look.If they think they’re being stealthy about it, they’re doing a lousy job.
“I have an errand to run,” Nathan says.“I’ll be back later.”
I narrow my eyes at him.A peek at Mum shows she’s distracted on her phone again, which is unusual for her.“What is this mystery errand?”
“Just something for Mae,” Nathan says.His tone is casual, and he gives a somewhat flippant shrug as if to say ‘no big deal’.
My eyes narrow further.“Can I go with you?”
His panicked expression as his gaze darts to Mum nearly makes me laugh.Mum sets her phone aside and turns her attention to me as if she doesn’t notice Nathan.“I hope you don’t have plans today, sweetheart.I’d like your help getting ready for Nathan’s birthday party tomorrow.”
Mum’s smooth request paired with Nathan’s groan makes me laugh.Let them have their secrets and mystery errands.“No plans,” I assure her.“Once I’ve finished eating, you can put me to work.”
Nathan goes to Mum’s side and loops an arm around her, planting a kiss on her temple.The way she smiles up at him warms my heart while simultaneously making it feel too big for my chest.I know my mum loves me more than anything, but I don’t think Nathan was too far off the other day when he joked about being her favourite.After all he’s done for my parents, I’d gladly let him have that title.
He rounds the table and stops beside me.He leans in to hug me, but straightens almost immediately, his eyes wide as if he’s just realized what he’s doing.He takes a step back and offers me his fist.I choke back a laugh as I bump it with mine.He shakes his head and sighs, giving me a self-deprecating smile as a hint of pink touches his cheeks.“See you later,” he says.
When Nathan is gone, Mum leans back in her chair and eyes me over her coffee cup.“Sorry we didn’t wait for you this morning.I know you haven’t been sleeping well, so I figured it was better for you to get your rest.”
“How do you know I haven’t been sleeping well?”I ask.
“Because I haven’t been either,” she says with a rueful twist of her lips.“I can hear you pacing around your room, and…I’ve heard you leaving and coming back.”
Over the last three nights, I’ve felt like a teenager sneaking out.Knowing Mum has been aware of it only solidifies that feeling.“Sorry if I’ve kept you awake.”
She waves a dismissive hand.“You haven’t.I can’t seem to get a good night’s sleep, no matter what I do.”
