It takes him ages to look over my list.I shouldn’t be surprised.Nathan is meticulous and detail-oriented, and even though the list isn’t long, he’d want to make sure he takes it all in.Aneesha returns to the table, her brows raised in question when she finds Thea and me silently watching Nathan.
“This looks great so far,” he says finally.“Murph and I visited some of these places, and I recognize the names of a few others.I love the idea of the music-related tours your friend does.”He lifts his head, his gaze locking with mine.“When I decide to go, it’ll be great to have your help with the planning.”
“Or,” Thea says, drawing out the word.Her tone tells me whatever she’s about to say is going to be akin to her earlier ‘practically pornographic’ comment.“Why stop at having Fiona plan the trip?She could go with you as your personal tour guide.”
Yep.Thea Doherty always was a troublemaker.
I’m almost afraid to look at Nathan.I wait for him to deflect or change the subject.When he doesn’t, I glance in his direction to find him watching me, his eyes narrowed slightly in assessment.Eventually, he picks up his coffee cup and murmurs, “Hmm,” before taking a slow sip.
Hmm?That’s it?What the hell does that mean?
“Anyway,” Aneesha says pointedly after several long moments of silence.“Guess what Mae was working on when I went to get our refills?Nathan’s birthday party.”
“Ooh,” Thea says at the same time as Nathan groans.We all talk over each other, asking him what his problem is.
“I don’t want a bigthing,” he says, waving a hand.“Mae’s not up for that right now.”
“Maybe you should let Mae decide that,” Aneesha says gently.
“Yeah, it might be good for her to have something to focus on,” Thea says.“You know Mae is in her element when she’s planning and hosting things.Andwhen her people are all around her.”
Nathan grunts, but it sounds more like agreement than dissent.“It’s only been a month since Murph died.It doesn’t feel right to have a big celebration of any kind.”
“We get that, but Mae wants it, and Murph would want it too,” Thea says.“Right, Fiona?”She pins me with a look.I know she’s seeking confirmation, but she also probably wonders why I haven’t chimed in.
“Right,” I say.“Dad loved birthdays, especially other people’s.”
Thea nods triumphantly and turns back to Nathan.“See?Besides, you do so much for all of us, you deserve to be celebrated.”
“All you have to do is show up, sit back, and let us shower you with love and attention,” Aneesha says, her eyes glittering with mirth.“Your favourite thing.”
Nathan’s stoic facade crumbles, and he lets out a deep, throaty laugh.With a sigh, he flops back in his seat and holds up his hands in surrender.“Fine, fine.Just….nothing too big, okay?Let’s encourage Mae to keep it small.”
I listen in silent amusement as the three of them negotiate a guest list and menu to suggest to Mum.Their banter and familiarity with each other tell me they spend a lot of time together.Despite my best efforts, I find my gaze landing on Nathan more than the other two, whether he’s the one speaking or not.He’s finished his cake and coffee now, and he’s sitting back in his chair with his long legs stretched under the table, and his hands folded on his stomach.
I like seeing this relaxed side of him.It’s how I remember him from when we were younger, although it’s a side of him I haven’t witnessed in the last few years during my visits to Honeywell.Nathan has always been serious, but he has a playful side and a wicked sense of humour too.I’d wondered if that lightness had disappeared, but I see now it’s still there.I’mthe one who disappeared.
I realize I’ve zoned out when Aneesha and Thea begin collecting all of our dirty dishes onto the tray that held Nathan’s coffee and cake.
“We’ll see you at Nathan’s party, if not sooner?”Aneesha says to me.
“Definitely.Let me know if I can do anything to help with planning.”
She promises she will, and then the two of them say their goodbyes to Nathan and me.Thea heads for the front door, waving at Mum and blowing her a kiss as she passes, while Aneesha ducks into the back with the tray of dishes.
Nathan glances at his watch, and I check the time on my phone.It’s late morning; there’s a lull in customers, which will change soon when the lunch rush begins.“You heading out too?”I ask.
“I have a few minutes.”He’s still reclined in that same casual pose.Seeing him at ease should putmeat ease, but after years of experiencing his animosity toward me, this easygoing version of Nathan is throwing me off.
“When did you and Aneesha become friends?”I ask.
“Oh, umm…five years ago maybe?”The way he scratches the back of his neck and avoids my eyes tells me there’s something he’s not saying.
“Did you two date?”I ask.Hell, for all I know, they’re dating now.I don’t allow myself to examine why that thought causes a pit in my stomach.
Nathan shifts so his legs are tucked under his chair and his elbows rest on the table.“Not exactly,” he says quietly, still avoiding my gaze.“It feels strange to talk about it with you, though.”
Between the ‘not exactly’ and the ‘with you’, I’m guessing this is somehow related to sex.Do I want to hear about Nathan’s sex life?Not particularly.But I want him to talk to me.I want to get back to a place where we share things.While I’m aware our relationship will never be the same as it used to be, I do believe we can build something new and solid.
