“Willyou spend the night?” I ask.
He hesitates. Thetightness around his eyes tells me it’s not that he doesn’t wantto, but rather that he doesn’t know if it’s a good idea. He’sprobably right. That doesn’t stop the wave of relief that rushesthrough me when he says, “Of course. I’ll have to leave reallyearly, though.”
I don’t respond.Instead, I grab the two fluffy white hotel robes from the closetand we put them on before crawling into bed. Time passes in ablissful blur of cuddles, kisses, and conversation. The way we onlyshare stories from the last few years of our lives makes it feel asif there’s an unspoken agreement between us to stick to the pastrather than put any focus on the present or future.
The nightstretches on. I occasionally glance at the clock, noting thepassage of time and then dismissing it, even as my eyelids andlimbs grow heavy. It’s been a long day; I was up early to takeadvantage of the hotel’s indoor pool, and then I spent the rest ofthe day wandering around playing tourist before running intoCole.
At Cole’s quietlaugh, my eyes fly open. I’m still sitting cross-legged on the bed,but I must have fallen asleep for a second.
“You’reabout to keel over,” he says.
“No,I’m fine,” I say quickly. “It’s still…” I was about to say ‘early’,but my eyes land on the bedside clock and the red numbers that read2:47. “Hmm.”
“Let’sget some sleep, Sylvie.” Cole climbs off the bed and begins turningdown the sheets.
I open my mouth toprotest, but a body-wracking yawn escapes instead. I give him asheepish smile. “Okay. I guess you’re right.”
I crawl under thesheets and Cole turns off the lights before joining me. The room islit faintly from the lights outside; I’ve been sleeping with thecurtains open every night because I find the soft, colorful glowcomforting. Cole pulls me into his arms, spooning me like he didbriefly earlier.
Stubbornness hasme struggling to keep my eyes open for as long as possible. Iexpect Cole to say something, but he just holds me close and kissesmy shoulder through the thick material of my robe. Between thewarmth and scent of his body and the quiet sound of his breathing,I soon fade away into a deep sleep.
***
I wake up the nextmorning with a smile on my face. The sun is shining, the sheets areridiculously soft, and my body is sore in the best possible way. Iclose my eyes and stretch slowly before rolling to my side andreaching for Cole. My eyes pop open when my fingers meet coolsheets.
I sit up quicklyand look around the room. My clothes, which were strewn all overthe place, have been left in a neat pile on the armchair by thewindow. My coat is hanging on the rack near the door, with my bootslined up underneath. All traces of Cole are gone. It’s like he wasnever here.
Disappointmentwashes over me, making my skin feel alternately overheated andshivery. I pull the sheets up around me and take a few deepbreaths, willing this feeling away. I’m about to flop back onto thepillows and pull the blankets over my head when a piece of thehotel’s stationery catches my eye on the nightstand. I snatch it upand run my gaze over it before reading it properly, realizing thisis the first time I’m seeing the small, precise letters of Cole’shandwriting.
DearSylvie,
I’msorry for leaving without waking you up. There was no easy way tosay goodbye, and I thought prolonging it would make it worse forboth of us. I was afraid I’d see your beautiful brown eyes andblurt out all kinds of promises I’m not sure I’d be able to keep.You deserve better than that.
I hopeyou don’t hate me and that you’ll remember me and our time togetherfondly. I know I will. I also hope this isn’t it for us. We foundeach other twice, and if we’re lucky, the universe will see fit tobring us together again. It has to, don’t you think?
Love,
Cole
The words waver infront of my eyes. I move the paper away a second before the firsttear falls. I’m not even sure why I’m crying. I’m sad, but oddlyhappy too, and…hopeful? I’d like to believe Cole is right and we’llsee each other again.
My eyesreturn to the page, lingering on the word ‘love’. Thiscan’tbe it for us. Iwonder if it’s too late to change my birthday wishes from lastnight.
PART III ~ DECEMBER2022
CHAPTER FIVE
The sidewalks ofdowntown Bellevue are bustling with holiday shoppers. Christmas Eveis tomorrow and, despite the occasional frazzled face or personshoving their way through the crowds, there’s a definite feeling ofjoy lingering in the air.
I stop outside aboutique to admire a display of jewelry in the window. Today is mythirty-fifth birthday, and I already have a stash of cash and giftcards from various friends and family members burning a hole in mywallet.
It’s safe to saythe birthday wish I made last year with Cole came true. This pastyear has, without a doubt, been one of the best of my life. I lovemy job, I’ve found interesting new hobbies, I’ve grown closer withmy friends, and I’ve made new friends too.
Last week, thefriends who wanted to come to Niagara Falls with me took me toToronto for the weekend to celebrate my birthday a few days early.We went to a show, followed by dinner at a fancy restaurant, andthen we danced the night away in a trendy bar before staggeringback to our hotel and falling into bed. Slightly hungover but stillriding the high from the night before, we played tourists the nextday.
I’d belying if I said I didn’t look for Cole everywhere we went. I didn’tlet it affect my enjoyment of the wonderful trip my friendsplanned, but I couldn’t help keeping an eye out for him. A part ofme was so sure that was how serendipity would intervene and put uson each other’s paths once more. I imagined running into him atdinner or seeing him across the packed dance floor. I pictured usliterally bumping into each other on the crowded sidewalk outsidethe Eaton’s Centre and falling into each other’s arms. Before weleft the city, my friends convinced me to contactThe Buzz, which I did,only to be told Cole was no longer working there and they weren’tallowed to give out his personal information.
Today is my secondbirthday celebration, this time with my new friends. Last month, amini high school reunion put me back in touch with an old friend,Stella. Neither of us even wanted to attend the reunion, so it feltlike another case of serendipity at work. She and her three bestfriends have welcomed me into their group over the last month, andwe’re planning a big get-together of both my friend groups in thenew year. It may sound cheesy, but my heart is so full.
