“You didn’t,” I assure him. “I appreciate that you care so much and want to help. At Jordy’s age, a few weeks can feel like forever. I know she would have made the best of it, but she might as well be with her brother and jump right into the fresh start she wants.”
“But you’re going to miss her.” He’s still caressing my knuckles, which is distracting in the best way. In fact, it might be the only thing keeping me from breaking down in tears.
I suck in a shaky breath. “So freaking much.”
Spencer releases my hand and gathers me into his arms. I press my face into his shoulder, focusing on his solid body against mine, and the way he rubs slow circles on my back. Spencer gives the best hugs. I’m tempted to tell him so as we release each other, but his warm breath on my face makes me forget the words. He’s standing so close, it’s impossible to miss the way his gaze flicks to my mouth. My lips part involuntarily and Spencer swallows hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing.
I’m not sure which one of us moves first, but in the next instant, we’re kissing. It’s a soft press of lips at first until Spencer’s hands cup my face, urging me closer. His tongue sweeps over my lips, eliciting a small gasp from me. He pulls back just enough to meet my eyes. Whatever he sees there must be what he was searching for because he lowers his head once more. Our lips are a breath apart when the sound of Jordy’s approaching footsteps makes us jolt apart.
“Reggie talked to his bosses and they said I can fly out there on the twenty-third,” she says as she hurries into the room. “This way we can be together for Christmas!”
She throws herself at me, and I wrap my arms around her tightly. I can’t hold back the tears now and I don’t even try since Jordy’s erratic breathing and shaking shoulders tell me she’s crying too.
“That’s such fantastic news,” I say into her hair.
“Are you upset I’m going so soon? I’ll miss Christmas with you after I forced you to get a tree and a gazillion ornaments.”
I release her, swiping at her tears with the pads of my thumbs. “I can’t lie and say I’m not sad, but my happiness for you wins out. I know how important this fresh start is for you.”
She hugs me again and then turns to hug Spencer, who looks adorably bashful.
“We should celebrate,” I say. “I have sparkling cider in the fridge. I could put it in champagne glasses and we can pretend we’re fancy.”
“That sounds lovely, but I really should be on my way,” Spencer says.
“Can’t you stay for a bit longer?” Jordy asks. “This is happening partly thanks to you.”
Spencer looks at me. The uncertainty that flickers over his face makes me wonder if he’s thinking about our kiss. Is he embarrassed? Does he regret it? AssumeIregret it?
“If you don’t need to get going, it would mean a lot to both of us if you stayed,” I tell him.
He nods once. “I’m honored to be included. One glass and then I really should head home.”
“School night?” I ask, bumping him with my hip as I pass him on my way to the kitchen.
He chuckles. “Something like that.”
Jordy convinces us to watchTed Lassowith her while we drink our sparkling cider and eat the crackers and cheese I put out. Spencer looks torn at the end of the second episode, but ultimately pushes himself to his feet and tilts his head toward the front of the house.
“This has been wonderful, but I should be off.”
Jordy hops off the couch to hug Spencer and say good night. The sight of them embracing tugs on my heart strings and fills me with a swirling jumble of emotions. I offer to walk Spencer out. Neither of us says anything as we head for the front door. After donning his boots, he gives me a bittersweet smile that likely mirrors my own.
“You okay?” he asks softly.
“Still feel like I’m on a roller coaster.” I sigh, leaning my head against the wall beside the front door. “I really am happy for her, and I’m grateful to you for helping her make this happen sooner than expected. Everything else I’m thinking and feeling seems so selfish.”
“You love her,” Spencer says simply. “That’s not selfish. You’ve given her a home, and I don’t just mean a place to stay. You’ve been a constant in her life for the past year, someone she can count on. You’ve shaped her life in ways you likely can’t even imagine. It’s only natural for you to have mixed feelings and for those feelings to include sadness.”
My throat tightens at his words. I was just getting used to having Jordy around. We’ve had a lot of fun over the last couple of weeks, and I thought I’d have at least a couple more. I thought she’d be here for Christmas and, after the excitement of getting a tree and decorating, I planned to go all out and make it a holiday she’d remember forever. “You always know the right thing to say, Spencer. I needed to hear all that.”
He moves closer to me. “My instincts are telling me to hug you right now, but…”
“No buts. Go with your instincts.”
“Should we talk about what happened earlier?”
I stop myself from telling him I’d rather have a repeat of what happened earlier than talk about it. “It can wait.” I step forward and he holds out his arms. I love how we fit together. Being in Spencer’s arms again feels like two puzzle pieces that you struggled to find matches for before that satisfying click of coming together. We feelright. Kissing him felt right too.
